Where Are You From?

My family moved a lot while I was growing up. It seems no matter what new school I went to, and there were 16 all together, kids would ask me, "Where are you from?"

I never knew how to answer that question.

I would say I was born in San Diego, but I lived in this city, then I moved to that city, and then I moved to another city. I never knew where I was actually from. How do you claim roots to a certain place when you don't stay there very long?

There were actually three years where I went to the same school all year long. They were my kindergarten year, my fourth grade year, and my freshman year of high school. The longest my family lived in any town was two years, and the shortest was about six weeks. My third grade year I started a new school three times... Once in Ohio, once in Pennsylvania and the other in Texas. I did not repeat any grades, but I did find it that when I moved from the west coast of the United States to the east, the schools on the east coast were more ahead. I almost started a new school three times in the tenth grade when at the beginning of the year I went to Riley High School in South Bend, Indiana and a couple months later my parents moved to nearby Mishawaka, Indiana where I went to school. A couple months after that they said we were moving again... to Arizona. That was part of the reason why I quit high school in the middle of my sophomore year never to return. I could not keep up. The move to Arizona never came though.

I was not an army brat. My father would just decide he didn't like it somewhere, so we would move. Between 1976 and 1989, our family moved eighteen times. Moving always meant leaving friends and pets behind. It usually meant trying to fit in at a new school and be accepted. Sometimes, just as I fit in I learned that we were moving again. That was difficult. As I reached my adolescence I begin to resist change by refusing to make new friends when we moved, and isolating myself from other children. By sixth grade I was telling myself, "What is the point in making friends? I will just lose them with another move anyway."

I tried to keep in touch with some old friends by writing letters, or making phone calls. Eventually, we grew apart. They changed while I seemed to always be hanging onto the past, the memories of what we had done, and the interests of yesteryear.

After marrying at nineteen years of age, while my parents moved away across the country, I decided I wouldn't go with them. My husband and I soon had our first child. I eventually got my GED and went to college, graduating a year and a half ago. Sometimes, I think my children don't realize how lucky they are.

My daughter is in fourth grade and has gone to the same school since she started kindergarten. By the time I was in fourth grade, I had been to seven different schools. My son is in eighth grade, and had been to two different schools since kindergarten. By my eight grade year, I had been to 12 schools.

I don't take for granted the stability I provide for my children by staying in the same place.

My Family's Many Moves

1976 Santee, Ca to Tyler, Tx

1976 Tyler, Tx to Conroe, Tx

1977 Conroe, Tx to Nitro, West Virginia

1977 Nitro, West Virginia to San Diego, Ca

1978 San Diego, Ca to Santee, Ca

1979 Santee, Ca to Lemon Grove, Ca

1980 Lemon Grove, Ca to Poway, Ca

1980 Poway, Ca to La Mesa, Ca

1981 La Mesa, Ca to Spring Valley, Ca

1982 Spring Valley, Ca to Cleveland, Oh

1982 Cleveland, Oh to Lakeside, Oh

1983 Lakeside, Oh to Artemas, Pa

1983 Artemas, Pa to Conroe, Tx

1985 Conroe, Tx to Cibolo, Tx

1986 Cibolo, Tx to Germantown, Md

1988 Germantown, Md to Fredereicksburg, Tx

1989 Fredericksburg, Tx to South Bend, In

1989 South Bend, In to Mishawaka, In