Where Have All the Real Men Gone?

The irony of the moment was too perfect to be planned. While listening to the radio on my last camping trip to the Land Between the Lakes Recreation Area (LBL), I heard two female intellectuals debating the definition of modern masculinity on National Public Radio. In the time it took them to analyze why Johnny Depp's character, Captain Jack Sparrow, wore lace on his wrists in the latest Pirates release, I had cleared the soggy ash from my fire ring using my Marine Corps-issued E-Tool, started a small fire and set up my water point.

For source information, these two women questioned each other, referenced current gender roles in Hollywood movies and interviewed one of Maxim Magazine's editors and another media type, but didn't speak to any real men. The hostesses went on to discuss other metrosexual wardrobe trends, which I knew nothing about. What I did know was how to pick a campsite in the Land Between the Lakes Recreation Area (LBL) located in Western Kentucky and Northwest Tennessee. I knew my campsite needed adequate tree cover to block out the noonday sun and protect from the falling dew. I also knew the direction of the nightly breeze and how to steer clear of poison ivy. More importantly, I knew to get in and out of the woods before the Fourth of July holiday brought in all the party people, RVs and tourists.

While exploring LBL a couple of weeks earlier, I had found a great, secluded campsite called Gatlin Point. I was determined to spend some time here, sleeping under the summertime stars before moving to Albuquerque, N.M., hiking, exploring the hardwood forest, watching for wildlife and just relaxing outdoors.

In the background the radio program continued, mixing in with bird calls, the blowing gusts in the tree tops and the confusion in my head. I wondered. Where have all the real men gone? Where were the experts in manhood? Why was someone not heralding the true virtues of manhood, namely integrity, leadership, courage, ability, resourcefulness and strength.

I guess all the real men were all unavailable for comment. Some were fighting religious lunatics half-a-world away, others were battling wildfire blazes in Utah and Florida, and others were rescuing people from the rising waters in Eastern Texas. Some were just out camping.