Where Do Attraction and Love Stem From?

Love, relationships, attraction, connections. What does it take for people to fall head over heels for one another? Is love as first sight fact or fiction? Do people have to feel an overall connection with each other to fall in love? Is it chemicals in the brain, or something much deeper? What creates attraction?

These are questions that people have asked since we can all remember. Is love something that comes and goes, is it simply neurons firing off and releasing the action of chemicals to make us feel good when we're around that special someone? Everyday in a person's life they have the opportunity to meet the man or woman of their dreams, the person that will change their life forever, the one person that they could spend the rest of their life adoring. People fall in and out of love each day, but is their a strategy to this 'Game'? Are we like animals, that compete for the attraction and attention of the other person? What makes us strong? What makes us feel the way we do? Who is to say that there are any basic principles to the thought of love?

Attraction.

The first thing to look at when trying to find the deeper meaning of love, is to start at the beginning. Attraction to another person. Is it by random chance? Is it the pheramones that we secrete? Is it something plausible to any person, or is everyone different in the way that they are swept off of their feet? A lot of people are so caught up in what is right and wrong in the world, that they forget how simple finding a match can really be. Eye Contact seems to be one of the most important parts of meeting that right person.

When you catch someone's glance, and it is prolonged, there is something that builds up at that point. The eyes are called the windows to the soul, simply because it is the truth. With prolonged eye contact, a person finds something deeper then just glaring at another person. They find that sometimes their heart skips a beat, breathing becomes heavier, life can spring into them. Have you ever sat and watched people that are together, they really, REALLY look at each other. It's as if they are looking at everything in that person that they love. Like they cannot take their eyes off of them. Such things really make you view life in a different way. People that are really attracted to one another, are completely comfortable with each other. A person could do something idiotically stupid like misconceiving something that is said, they could trip on their own feet, accidentally spill a drink on themselves.

Normally this would be an embarrassing thing, and said person will shell into themselves, feeling bad. Instead, with a person that is truly attracted to that person, it can be 'cute'. It could quite possibly be the one thing that etches into their brains to create a wonderful memory that they hold with them for the rest of their lives. It could be something they look back on years from now, and laugh about it creating an even deeper connection.

Attraction IS connection. To be attracted to someone, is to lose value for their faults, and concentrating on what really draws them to you, all of the good qualities that can be adored. Attraction comes in many forms, from the realization that you are both clumsy, to finding out that you both love the same television show. It's as if being alone is living life on a day-to-day basis, and when finding someone that is attracted to you as much as you are to them, suddenly everything in life is detailed, wonderful. Work doesn't seem to go by so slow anymore, that tree that seemed to be mundane every other day suddenly stands out with all of it's natural beauty. Like waking up every morning really means something, as opposed to simply starting a new day. Attraction springs forth anywhere, anytime, anyday. At work, at the park, in a restaurant, being at the right place... At the right time. Attraction... Is... Connection with another human being. It's not just the physical aspect of a person, but for everything that they represent. For each trait of them that makes them stand out from the world. Whether it be the way the dimples on their smile squeeze their eyelids closer to their face. How, in the right light, they seem to look more outstandingly vibrant to you then any other person. Even how they pronounce certain words, whether it's right or wrong.

Courting.

Normally courting is the way of the world. You date, either feel attraction to the opposite person or not, and decide whether it goes forward or stands still at that point. The great thing is, that the same ole', same ole' of courting is normally not how happy couples got together at first. Have you ever listened, really listened, to a couple that has been together for a long time? I'd say 98% of the time there is a wacky, yet interesting and visually appealing story about how they met, and first realized that they were attracted to one another. Whether it be a date that didn't go as planned, a freak occurance that brought them together (example: meeting at a gathering point as a tornado passes by a town), or simply passing each other on the street but not ever really, initally, passing one another.

Courting is like a seductive dance, where you go through a list of layers of a person. From finding out their name, to finding out their favorites, what kind of personality they have, to their ambitions in life, what they admire, and even what they fear. It's like playing Tetris, and when things go right, all of the blocks fit together perfectly. Starting a relationship is as simple as ending one is tough. As people date and grow with one another, they gain a deeper connection, and deeper, until it seems as if they are stuck on one another for life. A place in the heart resides for that special person forever, no matter what the future brings.

Insecurities in modern life leave people to disbelieve in themselves. Feelings like being egotistical, that you are better than anyone else can distort your view of them and eventually lead to you, or them, losing attraction to you for that trait. It goes on the other end of the spectrum just as well. Not having enough confidence in yourself, feeling like you aren't worth what others can give to you can make attraction fade rather quickly, or leave what could have been a wonderful date and/or relationship, with the feeling that there's something more to be had. Courting is a magical process where, in the right situation, time passes by on an epically fast scale, yet at the same time freezes into a standstill. You can look into someone's eyes for the feeling of a split second, when in reality an hour has passed. You can wake up one day and realize that you've been in a relationship with this person for years, when you still remember the first meeting as if it were yesterday.

The good thing about courting, is it always offers you the discrete knowledge of being able to advance with that person, or gently walk away to find someone that connects better. In a world that is as fast paced as this one, almost everyone seems to forget the focus of life is to survive, and part of survival is to connect with people. We are all social beings, in relationships or friendships, and no matter what there is no changing that, people will always reach out for the touch of others. Being with someone that you care for, or love, is like magnifying everything in life 100 times over. Courting is the starting or breaking point to finding your special someone whether it be going out on a date, or cooking a stay-at-home dinner for that person.

Love.

Love is life. Life is love. No matter how you say it, everyone is always looking to get a deeper meaning out of life, and loving another person, or a material possession such as your favorite couch, is still putting a deeper feeling towards that object and/or person. Being in love creates a happiness in people that can never be copied, not by the best pills in the world, or the most powerful drug. It's like a flood of the most wonderful things that you could possibly imagine, all hitting you at once. Chills tickle down your spine when you see them, smiling seems almost automatic, and walking seems more like floating.

Holding hands as you walks increases the attraction between two people. When you are in love you have a sort of glow to you that is ambient to all that are around. People know you are in love, they can see it, maybe not visually, but is noticable in a suttle way. You behave different, with a more upbeat outlook, a smile lingers with you at ever turn. Being in love is like waking up with meaning, knowing that there is someone out there that has a suttle need for you.

This is why I say Love is Life, because when you love everything, especially your life, then you always have that spring in your step. You always wake up with a meaning, and something to do while you are on this fine Earth. This is why a balance is needed in life, because you must always love yourself before you can love anyone else. Reality stems from your own perception of life, which begins with how you view yourself. If you don't like yourself, how can you expect others to feel about you? You give off hints about this in the way you walk, act, and treat others. When you really love yourself, attraction and courting are second nature. People are drawn to you in such a way, that love will become vibrant, and radiate through your pours. People want to be around you, as misery loves company, so does happiness. It simply looks for a different crowd to run around with.

Love, there is nothing like it in the world. No job can compete with it, no person can take it away from you. The perception you create within yourself is where love stems out, so as others make you feel good, you are in retrospect making yourself feel good for what they have said, acted, or have done. There is a fine line between love and insanity, because when you do fall in love, you will give your life to feel that way. And just remember, when feeling bad about a heart-broken relationship, there had to be something completely wonderful in your life for you to feel that sad. Love and pain go hand in hand, and with anything else in life, when knocked down, you only lose when you do not stand back up.

This is Life, and this is Love. As always Live Smart, Not Hard, but Play even Smarter.