Where Babies Come From.

As you might've guessed, I am a fairly standard collection of molecules containing the element carbon.

Why they all contain carbon (rather any of the other seemingly viable atoms such as silicone, nitrogen or phosphorus) is a mystery but it appears to happen quite a lot. Perhaps it is simply convenient.

At first glance, this arrangement may seem random but I assure you, it is not. Scientists (and one homeless man often found at the corner of Urquhart Street and St. Roch Avenue in the city of New Orleans) claim several long series of paired nucleotides dictate the arrangement of these curious little carbon molecules, like some sort of rudimentary language. These series can even recreate themselves making it one of the few natural instances of self-replicating information...

The function of this process seems to mirror the many known artificial instances of self-replicating information, often known colloquially as computer viruses (vīra if you're really into dead languages).

In fact, it seems very likely the entire complex arrangement of carbon based molecules exists for no other reason than to facilitate the replication of these nucleotide series and insert them into other, similar arrangements of carbon molecules guided by other series of nucleotides which differ slightly.

... and that is where babies come from.