Where to Get the Best Milkshakes in Santa Fe, New Mexico

I stared nervously out the half-blinded window of the dental surgeon's operating room, a steady flow of canned oxygen filling my lungs; every muscle in my body tensed while the "blip-blip" of my heart rate pulsed on the screen before me. The only thing stopping me from leaping from the chair was a welcome sleep-inducing intravenous injection of liquid. As I dozed off, I said to myself, "No solid food for at least five days. You, my foodie friend, are temporarily on the disabled chewer's list; get to know your milkshakes, and fast...." Coincidentally, the milkshake made its debut in America in the late 1800s as a healing tonic, often spiked with whiskey. Early versions consisted of milk and flavored syrups; when ice cream was added is something food historians can't seem to pin down with much accuracy. I have four requirements for a milkshake: it must be thick, cold, delicious, and have depth of flavor. Here's how four local eateries measured up to my ideal.

Tara's Organic Ice Cream shop is known for its wholesome ingredients and imaginative flavors. They offer milkshakes on the menu, but they call them frappes, a term that now encompasses a variety of sweetened, frozen concoctions. You can create your own frappe here, or stick with a short list of favorites like chocolate, strawberry, and dulce dc leche (caramel). I took a chocolate and a dulce de leche with whipped cream to go. The latter shake had plenty of caramel flavor - a few coagulated drips of caramel even remained in the cup's bottom. However, the shake was way too thin. The chocolate shake, while abundantly chocolatey, resembled a melted bowl of ice cream. The absence of chemical stabilizers and thickeners in Tara's organic creations may account for the shakes' off textures - and it didn't help that I ordered the shakes the minute the shop opened. The shop stores its ice cream at very cold temperatures overnight - and the ice cream needs to warm up a bit to reach the perfect texture. Next time, I'll order my shakes after noon, and they will include two seasonal flavors: sweet corn and spiced pumpkin. When making shakes with Tara's ice cream at home, I add a tablespoon of organic soy protein powder to the blender, and they thicken just fine.

My milkshake mainstay has always been the Zia Diner, a shining beacon of comfort food that has satisfied me since the 1980s. My colleague and I bellied up to the central island, just past the restaurant's entrance, and asked about the milkshakes. Our server, a new addition to the staff, summoned a colleague of his own, who proceeded to enthusiastically give us the shakedown. In addition to the usual vanilla and chocolate, he offered up mint-chocolate-mocha and gingerbread as possibilities. Zia Diner delivers milkshakes the way they're supposed to be served: prepared in front of us and poured into thick glasses, the remaining portion placed on the counter in large, frosty steel shakers. The vanilla shake was standard in flavor, but spot-on thick and creamy. My gingerbread shake - an equally thick combo of milk, vanilla ice cream, and gingerbread syrup - was like a bite of autumnal bliss. Subtle hints of clove, ginger, and nutmeg reminded me of the perfect pumpkin pie - only here, I didn't have to navigate a substandard crust.

If the nostalgia of thick glass, bar stools, and creativesoda-jerk types isn't important to you, find your wayto Bert's Burger Bowl for a very inexpensive shakeexperience. I've learned to listen to the regulars here.Bert's has been serving up shakes since the 1950s, sothe restaurant has probably found its groove by now.You can't go wrong with an ultra-thick cherryshake from Bert's, and - at under two bucks fora small one - standing in line should be proudlyadvertised as part of the price. Actually, it is, as asign states, "All our food at Bert's is specially madefor you and the approximate wait is 12 minutes onceorder is placed." For an afternoon shake, though,you can cut that time by more than half.

I next ventured to Cafe Dominic, but the shakeswere missing from the menu. "Don't you serve milkshakes?"I asked. "We used to, not anymore. Weshould, though," was the counterperson's response.I bit my lip and headed to the Plaza Bakery,where a thick tres leches milkshake soon washedaway my disappointment. Even at Plaza prices, theshakes here are consistently divine, and the serviceis almost as sweet as the shakes themselves. Theonly problem on this occasion was allowing myselfto ogle an array of tempting pastries through thesmudge-free glass case. My remaining teeth and I would beback for scones, I swore - and soon.

Exploring milkshakes as winter approaches might seem odd, but I defy you to find a better companion for a green chile-cheeseburger, a chile-cheese dog, a Reuben sandwich, a stuffed sopapilla, or a host of other foods that, at the moment, I can only dream about. My other dream is that, as the Rail Runner commuter trains track extension to Santa Fe comes closer to becoming a reality, someone has the good sense to buy an old train car, open it as a diner in the historic Guadalupe district, and bring back the soda jerks, milkshakes, and paper hats. There's still room for a little nostalgia, que no?

Tara's Organic Ice Cream

1807 Second St., Suite 32

216-9759

Zia Diner

326 S. Guadalupe St

988-7008

Plaza Bakery-Haagen Dazs

56 E. San Francisco St.,

988-3858

Bert's Burger Bowl

235 N. Guadalupe St.

982-0215