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Where Did Mommy Hide My Christmas Presents?

A Guide for Curious Children

Maria Roth
Hi, kids! I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been able to find your hidden Christmas presents. Moms and dads are so annoying! Don't you hate how they go shopping for hours and hours (while you're stuck with a boring babysitter) and then hide your new stuff while you're asleep? Mom and Dad can't possibly expect you to wait till Christmas morning to find out what you got. It's torture! Don't you wish you knew all their secret hiding places?

I understand. I'm a mom and I have to hide my kids' Christmas presents where they'll never look for them. It isn't easy. Because I'm desperate for page views, I'm prepared to share all my best present-hiding secrets with you. You are so lucky! Don't show this article to my son, okay? Promise? Thanks.

So, you want to know where Mommy hid your Christmas presents. First, check all the bookcases in the house. See if any new toys or DVDs or video games are hiding behind the books. It's dusty, I know. Even if you don't find your presents, I bet you will find several books that you'd like to read. Mom or Dad would be happy to read to you (just don't tell them you were looking for your hidden Christmas presents). Reading is soooooooo much more fun than playing video games and watching TV, isn't it?

Another great place to find your hidden Christmas presents is in the refrigerator-in those vegetable crisper drawers that you never open. Check it out! What? Nothing but carrots? Well, why don't you eat a carrot? They're sweet and crunchy, and loaded with vitamins. Yum! A carrot beats a Cheeto any day! Now you have more energy to search for your presents.

Where'd you put your backpack? You better go get it. Moms are really sneaky. You might think there's no way Mom could have hidden your new Nintendo DS inside your backpack while you were at school, but shouldn't you check, just to make sure? I bet she put it inside your homework folder. Yep. She knew you'd never look in there. Find anything? Nothing but homework, eh? Well, you may as well do your homework. Get it over with-but don't rush! Write neatly and check your work!

What's seven times four?...Excellent. Now you're ready for your math test and ready to find your hidden Christmas presents. The next place I recommend checking is under your bed. You thought Dad would hide your presents under his bed? That's crazy! He shoved the Toys 'R' Us bag under your bed, with all the random LEGO bricks, action figures, old spelling tests, torn books, long-lost Matchbox cars, dirty socks, and drawings of butts. Mom and Dad know how you like to kick stuff under your bed when you're "cleaning" your room. Yeah, you're not fooling them. You need to pull all that stuff out and put it away where it goes. Then shine a flashlight under there and see if you can find the Toys 'R' Us bag loaded with your Christmas gifts.

No luck? Well, if the Toys 'R' Us bag isn't under your bed, it's got to be in your closet. My goodness, it sure is a mess in there! Better clean it out real good and put all the dirty clothes in the hamper. Throw away those candy wrappers and organize those shoes. Your closet is not a trash can-but it's a perfect place to hide Christmas gifts!

No? Oh, I'm sorry you still didn't find anything. Your mom and dad must be very clever. I have one final suggestion. Straighten, dust, sweep, and vacuum the entire house, looking for clues. Whip up some dinner while you're at it. Maybe you'll find the Toys 'R' Us, Best Buy, and Walmart receipts tucked inside Mom's cookbook, and that's almost as good as finding the Christmas presents themselves!

Steer clear of the basement, attic, and Mom and Dad's car trunks this time of year. Those are the most obvious places to hide Christmas presents, and you already know your parents are way too smart to hide your stuff there.

Don't feel bad if you don't find your presents. They're supposed to be a surprise, you know. And don't whine if you don't get every single LEGO set or princess doll you told Santa you wanted. Look at all the blessings you already have! Never forget that you're a blessing to your family and friends, too.

Now go wrap up that heartwarming picture of five big butts that you painted just for your mom, and hide it where she'll never find it. I bet you can't wait to see her face when she opens your gift on Christmas morning. That moment of surprise-and delight-is so special...

Merry Christmas!

This article is dedicated to my son. Yesterday he asked me, "Is it okay if I look around the basement for Christmas presents?" I told him no. Then I moved everything to a new hiding place.

Related articles by this author:

Best Christmas 2010 Gifts for LEGO Lovers

Inexpensive Christmas Gift Ideas for Children: $10 or Less, No Batteries Required (here)

Merry Christmas to the Amazing AC (Yahoo!) Community!

Memorable Gifts for Mommy

These pictures are from my slideshow, 2010 Christmas Decorations in Walt Disney World (here).

Published by Maria Roth

I love popcorn, cashews, cheesecake, Jane Austen, my husband and children, and Conan O'Brien. Why should you be jealous of me? I am double-jointed in both thumbs, I live in Kansas, I'm tall, and I'm modest...  View profile

  • Check all the bookcases in the house. Books are fun!
  • Look in the refrigerator'"in those vegetable crisper drawers that you never open.
  • Maybe Mommy hid your Christmas presents inside your homework folder.
Steer clear of the basement, attic, and Mom and Dad's car trunks this time of year. Those are the most obvious places to hide Christmas presents, and you already know your parents are way too smart to hide your stuff there.

53 Comments

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  • Elise Dennon12/21/2010

    What a cute article. Nice work!

  • Mae Wong12/19/2010

    Hahah this is a great way to get kids to help with housework! It never occurred to me and now that I think about it, my dad may have employed several of these tactics.. hrm!

  • Theresa Wiza12/16/2010

    And don't forget to open suspicious aluminum foil wrappers hidden in the fridge – oh, wait – that's where I hide my snacks.

  • Nancy P. Goodman, in Tennessee12/13/2010

    Hi Maria! Very Good! And I have nominated you for a Yahoo! contributor Award! Good luck!

  • Michael Segers12/13/2010

    I was just checkng on you, because you haven't been posting much lately, and I was afraid that I wasn't getting notices. (I'm not getting notices from a lot of people.) It gave me a chance to re-read this piece... lots of fun.

  • Jennifer Waite12/13/2010

    Such a fun idea here Maria! And I love your current default pic :) Adorable!

  • Philip Theibert12/10/2010

    Love this!!! Great concept!!

  • MickeysBigMouth12/9/2010

    What everybody else said. And, nice hat, too!

  • Tonya Hillukka12/9/2010

    Lol funny! I actually never really looked around for Christmas presents when I was younger....

  • Rita Oakleaf12/7/2010

    Popping over to say thanks for the nice comment on my article. Also, I nominated you for Contributor of the Year and some of your articles about Audrey. I like the new pic too. Oh, and due to the glitch of cutting off our profile description, it now just ends with you being modest, instead of modest (and brilliant), which is what made it so funny. Dang glitches. Will you even see this? Who knows. Frustration abounds. :)

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