Where to Hide the Sex Toys

How to Keep Your Secret Stash a Secret

Kelly Spies
Now that you've accumulated mass amounts of vibrators, lubricants and other sex toys you might be wondering where you're going to put them all; safely away from prying eyes. After all you can't possibly hide all of them under the mattress can you? No, you can't and that's why I'm sharing my list of favorite places to hide them, besides the bedside table.

Behind the painting, dear
You obviously can't just hang them behind a painting but if you happen to have a wall safe that's one of the best places you can put them. If you don't have a wall safe a regular safe purchased from Wal-Mart or Target will work just fine. Take note though, that if you put your toys in a safe you'll have to unlock the safe first to play with them and trying to remember your combination when you're butt naked and in the heat of the moment might cool things down a bit.

The toys are in the library
This technique is somewhat elaborate but it works especially if you have a collection of hard back books nobody wants to read. All you have to do is hollow out the center of the pages (all the pages) and create a hole in the book. Lay the toy in the book and put it back on the shelf. You can also purchase books that aren't real books at all, rather they look like books but are intended for you to hide your valuables in. If you have lots of toys you'll need lots of books.

Metal foot lockers make excellent storage
There's nothing better, in my opinion, than a footlocker with a padlock and key to hide away the sex toys. First of all it can only be opened by those that have keys, secondly footlockers make great coffee tables and lastly the footlocker can be opened prior to sex time so that toys are easily accessible. Not to mention they have tons of room to store tons of toys.

Nobody looks in the shoe boxes
Well, almost nobody. Shoe boxes may not hold a lot of toys all at once and aren't very pretty but they work and they make it easy to store the toys right under the bed for quick grabbing. If you want you can decorate the shoe boxes but that may make people curious enough to look in them should they find them.

Tupperware and Totes
If you are really brave or have no children you can store your vibrators and lube in see through Tupperware. Tupperware offers a lifetime guarantee on their products so if they ever break you are certain to receive a replacement. If you aren't so brave or you do have children you can always go the way of totes. Totes come in dark solid colors that restrict people from viewing what's inside. Store them in the closet for easy retrieval.

Buy a custom case
There are companies out there that manufacture custom sex toy cases. The insides are lined with foam and they have locks on them. They are expensive but if you got the dough they are well worth it.

Hide-A-Vibe Pillow
There is a really cool product on the market called the Hide Your Vibe Pillow. The pillow has a secret compartment where you can store your favorite toy and a small bottle of lube. The pillow won't hold all of your toys but it's great for keeping the favorite and most used one on hand. All you have to do is zip it up and toss it on the bed.

There is a ton of ways to keep your children and family members from finding your secret stash of sex toys. All you have to do is be creative and resourceful. Whatever method of storage you choose remember that sex toys are fun and part of that fun is the secret itself.

Published by Kelly Spies

I'm just a chick with a lot to say about different things. I've been writing for most of my life and aspire to someday be a published novelist as well as content writer.  View profile

  • Hiding your toys in the bedside table drawer is not safe.
  • Tupperware has a lifetime guarantee.
  • Safes are the safest place to hide sex toys.
Many adult toy companies offer toys that don't resemble sex toys at all.

7 Comments

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  • Sally Ann12/1/2010

    I actually found a cool jewelry box with a hidden lock mechanism. www.toibocks.com I can keep my jewelry in the top and my toys in the bottom and my kids have no idea :)

  • Rachel9/7/2010

    I have a Sneaky Sack... sneakysack.com. It hides under clothes on a hanger in the closet - great concept.

  • Crystal Ray9/1/2009

    Good ideas. I'd like to add one. Instead of a shoe box, how about hiding it in a really big shoe... like a boyfriend's really biiiiig shoe. How about a pair that he doesn't wear because they're too tight? LOL

  • Dissonance6/10/2008

    Great article, Kelly. Thanks for posting your list of risque articles ;)

  • Kimberly Fidi10/9/2007

    love the article!

  • Tina Wettin8/24/2007

    LOL Too funny.

  • DrDevience8/22/2007

    You are too fun! I'ma look for that pillow...

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