Where Two or More Are Gathered: The Inordinate Value of Support Systems in Our Lives

I saw a statistic recently that startled and saddened me. It stated that more than 25% of Americans feel lonely. When I saw this, I thought to myself, "No wonder there are so many feelings of sadness, hopelessness and depression in the world!"

When we don't have friends with whom to share our joys, our woes, our hopes and dreams, we tend to isolate ourselves in shells of deep oppression and withdrawal. We begin to feel useless, unworthy and unneeded. Having no friends to talk to makes us embittered, angry and often fills us with self-loathing or loathing for others.

But I don't want to dwell on the negative effects so often caused by loneliness and the resultant isolation. Rather, I'd like to address the positive effects... the joy and blessings, that are found when one is able to implement a strong and loving support system into his or her daily life.

When we have people around us who love and respect us, with whom we can share, vent, laugh and confide, this increases our confidence levels, raises our self-esteem, and helps us to love and appreciate ourselves and others more deeply. When we have a good support system, we have people around us who will listen deeply, love unconditionally, and "support" completely.

So how can we find this support system, or strengthen the one we already have in place? Why not get in touch with some old friends with whom you share common interests and deep bonds? "But," you may be thinking, "I haven't talked to Joe in five, ten, thirty years." Get in touch anyway. There's a good chance that your old friend will be delighted to hear from you and rekindle your friendship.

Talk to your colleagues. By having lunch or coffee with someone you work with, you may discover that you have far more in common than just work! If you're unsure whether you have any other common interests or personality traits, then work, the one thing you already have in common, is a good starting place. It's likely that other topics of conversation will spring up as you talk. And who knows? A wonderful friendship may result!

Join groups of like-minded individuals with similar interests. If you like to cook, find a group of others who like to cook as well. If you like to garden, find a horticulture society to join. If you're a bookworm like me, join a book club. It's extremely likely that cooking, gardening and reading won't be the only interests you share in common with other group members.

I'd like to add that these groups can be via the internet, or telephone bridge lines, as well as face to face. Obviously, when meeting people online, use caution and good common sense, but I know from first-hand experience that wonderful friendships and support systems can be forged in these ways.

Of course, it's unlikely that every single individual you meet will become part of your support system. Rarely are support systems huge. I probably have no more than a dozen dear ones who I would readily include as part of my close-knit support system. But by following even one of the methods I listed above, you may very well connect with someone who becomes dear to you, who may become invaluable as a loving friend and ally.

As for those of you who want to strengthen your existing support system, three things that might prove helpful are: stay in touch, reconnect, and do both the previous with love and respect. Showing gratitude to members of your support system, along with love and respect, is also exceedingly important.

Finally, remember that it is a support "system", and therefore, you must be supportive while being supported. It isn't a one-way street. In order for a support system to stay strong, all of its members must be active participants.

It is my great hope that you find the loving support system that you are seeking. I send you all my love.