Where was God?

"I can't believe the incompetence of these people! Because of their stupidity, I'm going to end up fired." the young man mumbled under his breathe while looking around anxiously.

The one postal clerk at the counter had just announced that the computer had crashed and the technician was gone for the day. The fact the clerk indicated she sometimes had been able to reboot the system after a 15-minute wait held him in line behind the old gentleman but added to his anxious mumblings. "Today of all days, just when I finally get some time with the boss and have a chance to show him I deserve a raise. Instead I'll get fired for either getting to the meeting late or not mailing this express package...or just my luck..both!"

"Excuse me sir, do you know of any other shipping places around here?" the young man spoke clearly now intending to be heard.

"Well actually, son," the old man turned to face him, "there used to be a UPS shipping office just down the street but it closed down about 6 months ago. I read in the paper that Fed Ex was looking into opening a shipping store in town but I think they ran into some snafu with the city planning department, so actually, son, this is your only option unless you want to drive up to Prescott. Then again since it is already 4:30pm you probably wouldn't make it there in time anyway."

The young man hung his head in defeat. "What am I going to tell her?" his eyes looked pleadingly at the old man but the question was clearly not intended for an answer.

"I know it's none of my business, but if you don't mind me saying so, you seem more than a trifle upset," observed the old man.

"Well yea!" the young man nearly retorted giving his best effort to be a little more respectful than just saying "dah" to a man decades older than himself. "This just keeps happening to me. I get a job, my wife and I move there. I get started and everything seems to go pretty well for a while and then wham...I get fired. I'm pretty sure today will be number three and I have no idea what to tell my wife. Honey, I'm home! Guess what? I got fired, again," the sarcasm and pain dripping off his words. "You know the crazy thing is, she keeps talking about God looking out for us, but I just don't see it. I mean where was God the first two times I was fired? I was really trying. The first one I did make some dumb mistakes but the second one, a co-worker who had been there longer than me, blamed me for his mistake. The manager believed him and fired me. I didn't do anything, I swear! But I was the one fired. God sure looked out for me then!" he sarcastically spat out the words. "I'm surprised we haven't ended up the soup lines yet. But this just might be the time."

"If you don't mind me asking, what did happen after you were fired the other times?" inquired the old man.

"The first time we managed to keep the rent paid for another two months until I had a job lined up in Wisconsin. But we just got lucky on the move. I thought I had a "friend" lined up to help us with his big van but at the last minute he backed out. If it weren't for the tax return money we had got just the day before, we couldn't have paid for the rental truck. Of course this year we had to pay taxes!"

"The second time, a guy from this church we went to a couple of times just showed up with his truck. We didn't really know him that well but somehow he had heard about us needing to move and just showed up. I was totally freaking out. I had to be at my new job in Kansas City in two days, and we had only enough money for one bus ticket. We couldn't have taken anything if he hadn't showed up. But I sure don't see any magic genie popping up to help us now!"

"If I may, let me see if I got this straight." the old man responded. "Even though you were fired, both times you were able to get to your new job without ever becoming homeless or having to go to the soup kitchen? Even when your friend backed out, you got the money you needed just the day before, and when you thought you were going to have to leave everything, including your wife, someone you barely knew showed up to help right on the day you needed it?" "Hummm," he paused, "I certainly can't claim to be an expert on this, but from my way of thinking, those seem an awful lot like miracles to me. But you know, you are probably right, it was most likely just dumb luck and couldn't have had anything to do with God."

"Well..." the young man spoke slowly this time, "actually, my wife kept telling me she was praying about it and that it would all work out somehow. Honestly, the second time, I even prayed a little once. I guess I figured it couldn't hurt anything and who knows...right? It was just kind of like those Hail Mary shots at the end of a basketball game when the team is behind by 1 point but the buzzer is going off while everyone is still in the backcourt. You throw it, you hope you make it, but you really don't expect anything. But now that I think of it, maybe God did come through. I just kept thinking that if God were actually looking out for us, I would never have gotten fired in the first place, especially the second time. Maybe He just came through in a different way than I thought He should....hum. Looking at it that way, maybe God did help me both times I got fired, but I know a time He definitely didn't come through for me, and it was a big one!".

"Really, tell me about it." invited the old man.

"I can't tell anyone." the young man stated abruptly. But then after a long pause the young man proceeded, "well, since you don't know me and you will never meet my wife, I guess I could tell you. Truth is I feel bad just saying it. I love my wife and all and we get along good but she's not the one I really wanted to marry. A long time ago, I was really into God and church and everything. I was going to a Christian high school and the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen started going there. We even had two classes together. Her name was Charlotte Covinsky; boy was she the bomb! After a couple of weeks I screwed up enough courage to ask her out and amazingly she said yes!! I thought my world was complete then. I had been praying that God send me a woman as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. Charlotte was every boy's dream... which might be why she dumped me I guess. We were going out all senior year and I had decided to ask her to marry me. It was really weird. I was nervous and I said 'I want to ask you something.' And she said, 'I want to tell you something too but you go first.' I insisted she go first and got the slam of my life! She wanted to break up with me. She said she was interested in another guy and thought I was nice but just not the person she wanted to stick with long term. I never did tell her I wanted to marry her. My life just seemed to fall apart then. I called her a few times over the next couple of years but she always said she thought it was so sweet I wanted to go out with her but she had a boyfriend and then it was a fiancée. At that point I never called her again. I really prayed about her. I begged God to change her mind, to show me what I had done wrong so I could fix it, or to break up her relationship with the other guy, but He never did anything. She married the captain of the football team. Is that typical or what?"

"I eventually met Mary, my wife, she is real sweet and a great mother but I still sometimes wish she were Charlotte. Don't get me wrong she is pretty and smart too but, I don't know," after a long pause he continued, "she just isn't Charlotte. She isn't make your jaw hit the floor gorgeous or as spontaneous and fun loving. I had the woman of my dreams and God let me down. Do you know, I even promised to go into missions if he would just bring Charlotte back to me."

"Wow, it sounds like you really got your heart broke," reflected the old man. "That is really difficult to go through. I can see it looks like God really did let you down. Have you ever given any thought to what your life would be like today, if you did end up marrying Charlotte instead of Mary?"

"You know, it is crazy you asked me that. I have, many times. I always think of how proud I would feel walking into a restaurant with her or how passionate we would be together. But actually I just ran into Charlotte a couple of days ago and geese! The years have not been kind to her. I barely recognized her. We are only 30 but she looked 50 and not an energetic having a great time in life 50 but a worn out tired of everything kind of 50. She was so skinny, her eyes were kind of sunk in her head and her skin was all wrinkly. She used to have the most smooth clear skin of any one. When all the other girls had zits she had a totally clear face, but now... I talked to her a little bit. She said something about getting divorced, and having her kids taken away by Child Protective Services. Then she said she had to go to rehab to get them back. I guess she got hooked on drugs or something. She was definitely not the Charlotte I remembered or imagined she would be. It was weird, I was sooo attracted to her back then, I was practically obsessed with her but that day, I just felt sorry for her. Even if I were single, I am not sure I would have gone out with her even if she asked. I have worked with men whose wives are addicts and their life is a living hell. Some of them try so hard but it seems that the harder they try to give their wife whatever she wants the more she uses. I think nearly all of them ended up divorced."

"You know, I just thought of something, maybe God knew what she would do. I always prayed for God to give me a wife I could build a great life with, an honest successful, happy, God honoring life. You know, actually I have that. Well, I need to work on the God honoring part. But when I get my head off Charlotte and just enjoy being with Mary, she is a lot of fun and totally dependable. I could trust her with anything and I know she would never betray me. Sometimes she is pretty hot too! You know, I think God actually did answer my prayers! I have been so stuck on the idea that right woman was Charlotte; I haven't really seen just how amazing Mary really is. Actually, I don't think Charlotte would have been nearly so encouraging when I got fired like Mary was. I remember once, I messed up a science assignment that we did together. Wow, she was mad and didn't cut me any slack! It was a week before things got back to normal between us and she never did apologize for calling me a moron."

"You know, as soon as I get out of here and face whatever happens with that meeting, I am going to go home and tell Mary just how amazing she is and that I am so thankful God gave her to me!"

"Wow, God truly has come through for me all of my life and I never realized it! Thank you very much for talking with me. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I am not alone in all this! He really is looking out for me!"

Just then the clerk announced. "It is back up! Who is next?"

The old man motioned the young man to move in front of him.

The young man beamed as he stepped to the counter and quickly informed the clerk what he needed. After his transaction was completed, he ran for the door while waving to the old man and exclaiming, "Thank you so much! You are totally awesome!"

Have you felt God has been ignoring or punishing you by not answering your prayers the way you expected? Is it possible God has been answering you and guiding you all along but you just never recognized it? Why don't you take a careful look at your life today? You just might find what you have always longed for but were afraid didn't exist, what you have hoped for but haven't seen, a God in love with you! A God who has walked with you your entire life, a Savior who carried you during the worst of times, all without you ever seeing it, and even when you felt most alone and scared. Do you see it? Do you see Him? Look, REALLY look.