Where's the Ink? Hampton Inn Needs Refills!

Hampton Inns are my fave place to stay on rare occasions when I manage to get away. They've got it all - wifi, nice rooms, great breakfast and pens that write like a dream. During a recent business trip, DH sprung for a suite at a Hampton Inn in the Carolina's. It sounded so wonderful.

I love suites - almost as much as I love pens. Escaping to a Hampton suite is one sweet dream of a getaway. This one had the usual amenities - sitting area with flat-screen tv, bedroom with flat-screen tv (flat-screen matters to DH) and wifi everywhere.

Super clean kitchen with tables and chairs, dishwasher (I leave such machines untouched when I'm escaping) micro and fridge for storing/reheating Olive Garden left overs. Workspace in kitchen /sitting/bedroom areas. Comfy chairs.

Cute little notepads bearing the company logo and accompanying pens. There were three pens and three note pads (pair of each in each work area). Note pads were clean - I couldn't play CSI and trace the writing of the room's previous occupant. Oh well, I had more important things to do anyway.

Hampton Inns use a stick pen for their promos - at least as far as us ordinary schleps are concerned. Stick pens are not only the dinosaur of the pen age, they are so far down the pen chain that a good pencil our writes them much of the time.

Two characteristics help Hampton pens rise above obscurity - logo design and most importantly, IMHO, ink flow. These pens write smooth - words flow like silk as they're put on paper. I couldn't wait to start writing with one again.

Getting comfortable in one corner of the couch, I was in writer / geek heaven. Laptop plugged in and sitting on hotel - provided lap-desk. Wifi connected at roaring speed. (Okay, so all speeds are roaring when you are accustomed to RURAL Arkansas).

Leaving the cutesy notepad alone, I pulled a new college ruled, smoothly perforated, notebook out of my bag. Reached for the pen and WHAM! I could not believe my eyes. Were my contacts fuzzy from the long hours? Was fatigue causing me to hallucinate?

NO! It can't be! An ink level of less than 1/4" inch? That's obscene. That's rude. That's indescribably disappointing. Where's that ink?????

I tried to calm down as I put the computer aside and went to fetch one of the other pens. Pen number 2 - same amount or maybe even, gasp, less ink than the first pen. OK. Frustration level climbing, I step into the bedroom for the last pen - my last chance.

AARGH! No ink visible at all! What kind of idiot leaves an empty pen laying around? Granted, the gray plastic insert might hide the last bit of ink but it's been my experience that once the ink hits the gray area, the writing is over.

Now in full-blown shock, I return to the sitting area and fall to the couch. I drink an entire Sobe and eat four, 4! pecan turtles as the reality sank in. I was rooming at an inkless Hampton Inn. Oh, the misery. The hotel I have kept on a pedestal has entered dangerous territory.

When eating out, if the beverage level in my glass drops to less than 2 inches, it has fallen into what often becomes the no-tip zone. (Waiters and waitresses who allow it to get that low are either lazy or covering too many tables.) So what level of ink becomes the no-stay zone? I'm suddenly adrift in uncharted water.

I might be a redneck but I'm also a pen connoisseur. I can tell a cheap pen from a well aged Mont Blanc. This geek also knows her numbers and her marketing. Therein lies the sudden dilemma and the $64 question. Are the housekeepers delaying pen replacement until absolutely necessary? Some sort of money-saving effort?

Perhaps it was just an oversight? Heaven forbid, it was - gasp - a conspiracy against us pen-loving people who keep one finger in the real world and only nine in the digital one.

I wish I could say that I found an ordinary, run-of-the-mill answer to my question. I did not. Alas, I'm not a morning person and a wee hours departure for home left me incapable of even asking at the desk for a replacement.

Hindsight is, in this case, truly 20-20. Why didn't I just pick up the phone and ask for another pen? (Correction - another 3 pens.) Because I'm a redneck geek - not a diva. Yeah, we spent good money on that hotel room. Yeah, I'm the customer and customers are always right.

At least we geeks are always prepared. I reached into my private collection. Ignoring the who's who, I chose the always reliable - always there when you need it - comfort pen of choice. A superfine tip black sharpie. There isn't a blankie in the world that comforts as well (and as fast) as a fresh sharpie.

After a few minutes of sharpie therapy, I finally calmed down enough to get on-line and get some work done. I told myself it was just a one-time thing. Stuff happens. We headed toward home the next morning. I told myself things would be all better that night when we stopped at a different Hampton.

The miles rolled by as I typed away. Laptop desks really do make traveling a breeze if you aren't the one doing the driving. The only good thing about the evening was the fact that we'd get to pull over. We were driving a big rig home after an exhausting trip. (Before you ask - no. My exhaustion did not play a part in my reaction to the inkless Inn issue. I'd probably have been more upset if I'd been rested and had more energy.)

Oh the beauty of the Hampton Inn sign, shining like a beacon just off the exit. I could see the room already. I could feel my body relaxing in anticipation of that uber-comfortable mattress. No time for suite but that's okay. An ordinary Hampton room is just fine.

Kick off my shoes as I pop the top on a cherry Dr Pepper. Call Domino's pizza as I reach for the lap desk. Grab the desk with one hand, toss remote to DH with the other, and settle onto my side of the bed. Sweet heaven.

Pick up the pen that's conveniently waiting beneath the elastic-bearing corner of the lap desk. Position my paper just so.

NO! Not again!

Is that the twilight zone theme I hear playing? Am I living out the Groundhog Day movie scenario?

Where's the Ink??????