Which Apple is Which? A Guide to Picking the Right Apple Computer

It's about that time again-- time to buy a new Apple. As much as I love it, my old G3 iBook has seen better days, and while he (such personification seems to be common among us Mac users) can certainly do most everything that I need him to do, I'm starting to notice that it might be easier if I just take the plunge and upgrade. There are little problems that beg remedy, and despite rumors that Macs are too hard to fix, all of these problems have very quick and easy solutions.

I don't have an airport card, which means that all my internet has to be wired. This, I assure you, is quite the pain and makes me envy my peers in coffeehouses the world over who can sit and toil away without being hampered by cords. The easy solution for this is to get an airport card, which I could have done just as easily 5 years ago as I could today. The problem isn't the computer, but that I procrastinate.

I'm still running OS X. Well, so is everyone else, but they're running Tiger or Jaguar or Panther or whathaveyou, all of which have neat little perks like better memory usage or iCal (just what I need to keep myself from procrasinating and actually schedule a time to do my upgrades). Installing a new OS requires backing up my files, and while that's easy enough to do, it's yet another thing that I've put off for half a decade.

My battery is dead. It has been for years. Have I replaced it? Of course not. My screen flickers in and out. A simple matter of a pinched wire (and given that I have taken my computer everywhere, from transatlantic flights to backpacking trips across lava, one can expect such things), and one easy enough to fix that I could do it myself without consulting a Apple technician. I am, however, too fond of putting things off, and so I haven't bothered to engage a hex key and open up my computer case.

Apples will last you for eons if you take care of them (i.e., give them the appropriate upgrades, don't cart them across molten rock), and mine is no exception. I could go on happily with the same Macintosh that I've had for years, but I've been so spoiled by the easy-going nature of the Apple that I can't quite wrap my head around the idea of actually having to do something to my computer to make it work. It's never had a virus or a blue screen of death. It's never spontaneously combusted and burned a whole through my sound card (you laugh, but it happened with my old PC). It's never failed to save my work, dropped the internet, or failed to find new hardware. All the little things, however, coupled with massive envy over the new Macintoshes of all of my friends, have moved me towards a more drastic solution-- purchasing a new computer.

Now, I wouldn't stray from the Apple name. I've been a fan of the Apples all my life, from my first Apple ][c and our innovative and cutting edge (for the early 80s) color monitor to our school's slightly newer Apple ][e models, and then to high school journalism class, where we had a pair of adorable PowerMacs running OS 8. I've seen Apple, as a company, evolve from green screens to color, from floppies to DVD-burners, and from Odyssey, An Apventure to Garage Band. I'm the worst kind of Apple owner-- I'm the lifer, the old-school die-hard who can spend an hour touting all the reasons why my computer is superior to anything else currently on the market.

This isn't to say that I've never had a PC, as I've had a string of them as well. They just lack the personality of the Macs. Windows 3.1 never had Oscar the Grouch pop up and sing "I love trash!" every time you emptied your recycle bin. It never made a sound as endearing as the wild eep. Despite jokes that the only games available for the Macintosh are Photoshop and Final Cut Pro (two of my favourite "games," I might add), the brighter gaming companies have always been dedicated to producing hybrid disks (Diablo and Warcraft are perfect examples), and with the Macintosh, you never have to worry that another window is going to pop up and distract you from your game at the most crucial of moments.

As I take a deep breath before throwing myself into the world of computer-buying once more, I have to ask myself: which Mac is right for me? If I'm wondering (and I'm a Mac pro-- I have this totally down by now), then other people must be wondering the same thing, and maybe I could help them pick the right one as well. Here we go-- the newest and latest Macintosh models, complete with perks and limitations.

MacBook
The MacBook is the ideal choice for me for any number of reasons. First of all, I really prefer the black and white to the titanium, though I admit that this cosmetic reason is a particularly shallow one. Only 1.8" thick, this is an incredibly thin notebook, which makes it kind of ideal for travel, whether across town or over the ocean. The price is impressively reasonable, given that the hard drive space ranges from 80-120 gig, the processor is incredibly fast, and the MacBook has almost everything that the MacBook Pro does, except for a less sparkly videocard, a slightly smaller hard drive (anything over 120 is just gravy, though) and a processor that's not quite so quick. Still included is the SuperDrive, which reads and records CDs and DVDs. The MacBook, like the iBooks of days long ago, have 13" screens, which are more than adequate for all your computing needs. I know this, because my notebook has had a 13" screen for the last 5 years, and I've experienced no problems at all with the size.

MacBook Pro
The more I tout the perks of the regular MacBook, the more I realize that what I really want is a MacBook Pro. It is the best of the best, and someone thinking about getting a new notebook should stop looking after they take a look at this model. It has the latest in graphics cards, 2.33 Ghz processors, great resolution, and it's overall ideal for hardcore gamers. Getting this model, however, if you don't need that much power (and chances are you don't), is a lot like buying a Ferrari when all you really need is a Honda. The MacBook Pro comes with either a 15" or a 17" screen, offering a little more viewing room for those who desire it. The downside? You'll be paying a lot more for those upgrades. It's the top of the line, so expect to pay top dollar for it-- the MacBook Pro runs about a thousand dollars more than the MacBook.

Mac Mini
The Mac Mini is absolutely perfect if you're upgrading from another desktop, be it Apple or lesser variety. This smaller-than-an-X-Box computer processing unit is easy to set up (just plug everything in) and easy to carry with you. If kids can transport their gaming consoles to and forth friends' houses, you can surely cart this little computer back and forth between home and the office, provided that you have a monitor, keyboard and mouse in both places. Computer security has never been easier. Worried about someone going through your files while you're away? The solution is simple-- take your computer with you. With the irresistably small Mac Mini, you can do just that.

This particular model has a weaker processor than the laptops, but at 1.66Ghz, it's still nothing to scoff at. The hard drive isn't quite as large either, but what you lose in storage space you more than make up for in convenience and price (the Mac Mini runs around 800 dollars)!

iMac
If you're looking for an ordinary computer that can meet all your needs and more without making your pocketbook see butterflies, the iMac is for you. It's not as portable as the Mac Mini, but it has a little more oomph. It doesn't have quite as much oomph as the Mac Pro, but it doesn't have the pricetag, either. The iMac is your standard, run-of-the-mill machine meant for the typical at-home user. The price runs a little cheaper than the MacBooks, and it has most of the same specifications with none of the portability. A good, solid machine for people who aren't (always) on the go.

Mac Pro
Repeat after me: I will never need this much power in a computer. Continue repeating: I will never be able to fill a 200 Gig hard drive. Okay, good. I'm glad we understand one another. That having been said, there's something about the Mac Pro that can make any Mac lover and most die-hard computer geeks shiver with delight. It's not just the titanium casing standing proudly on its own. It's not the fact that you can operate it via remote control (this is actually true of all the new model Macs). It's not the 8-core dual processors amping up the computer for maximum productivity. Well, okay. Maybe it's the processors, not to mention that insanely large hard drive, and the amazing graphics card, and the halo of light that seems to constantly be surrounding this machine.

I'm not sure that I would call this machine a must-have for the average consumer, but it's a definite must-have for any film studio, gamer so hardcore they haven't left their house for seven years, or graphic designer. I would consider getting this model simply for its graphic and film capabilities, except that I don't have several thousand to drop on a computer (nor do I want to have to carry a computer this size over hot lava).

There you have it-- the latest and most up-to-date Macintosh computers, their foibles and their numerous strengths. I hope this makes your purchasing a little easier. If you haven't made the switch to Macs yet, give it time-- one rotten PC spoils the bunch.