Which Box Do You Select Regarding Your Ethnicity?

As a child, I always felt different from my peers. I think those feelings of insecurity and unease stemmed from both the fact that I am an only child, and I am the daughter of a biracial marriage. My mom moved to the USA at the age of 19 from Japan and my dad is an American born of mixed English and Italian heritage. My parents met in New Jersey one summer during college while they were working in a restaurant. I have always been the "apple of their eye" - an adored and well-loved child responsible for the hopes and dreams her parents wanted her to achieve.

For me though, the normal difficulties I experienced growing up were compounded by my multiple ethnicities and my appearance of somehow being "different." Though my parents loved me and I had a pleasant childhood, I never truly felt like I belonged anywhere. There were never any neighborhood kids who were similar to me, and as a child, I always felt stigmatized by my heritage. I cannot even count the number of times some person has asked me "where I am from" and "how long have I been in this country?" It was not until college that I met a student who was "like me." Scott was half-Japanese and half-German. Though we did not talk about our heritage too much, it was enough for me to know that he existed, because for awhile I thought I was the only one. Finally, there was another person who knew what it was like not to be fully Asian-American or fully Caucasian-American even though we were both raised as Americans. During college, I also had more of a chance to fit in - my peers were so busy trying to find themselves that they were not too concerned about me.

Following college, I went to work in New York City. Manhattan is a place where pretty much anything goes. I found many interesting and cultured people with whom to befriend, and my ethnicity never became an issue. It was only when I moved to upstate New York during the summer of 2004, and felt like I REALLY stood out, that I began thinking more seriously about my heritage again and what I am... I remembered when I was a child, my parents used to joke around and say that I was a "Heinz 57" and a "Mutt." I have come to realize that I enjoy and appreciate my differences, but I become irked when having to fill out standardized form demographic data and my choices are:

o Caucasian

o Black

o Hispanic / Latino

o Asian or Pacific Islander

o Other

For many years, I selected Asian, but realizing that selecting this box only tells a portion of my story, I have begun to select the "other" box, grumbling all the way. Wow, five whole choices for more than 6 billion people? How many people in the world are there who must check the "other" box? Standardized forms of this nature are useless because humans cannot simply be categorized by their racial signifiers. We are too diverse. I don't think that we should have to check the "other" box or any box for that matter. Can't we just be people and leave it at that?

Sometimes, I still feel like all Caucasian eyes are boring into me when I walk into Chili's or any other casual restaurant for dinner with my husband. Maybe they wonder why he is with me. Or why I am not with someone of my "own kind." What they fail to recognize is that he is of my own kind. He and I are both human and we accept and love one another for each of our strengths and weaknesses. The old adage, "Don't judge a book by its cover" has been drilled into the heads of youngsters for ages, yet still people continue to be judged, ranked and sorted based on skin color. The curious thing is: what do you do with people who do not fit inside of the box? America is supposed to be a place where everyone belongs and melts into one glorious society. I hope that one day my America will be such a place.

Perhaps it is a combination of my upbringing and my heritage, but I feel that it has taken me 30 years to fully appreciate and understand how lucky I am to be a person of diverse heritage. I have started to think about eventually becoming a parent, and I am alternately terrified and excited to bring a child into this world. My child will be ¼ Colombian, ¼ Cuban, ¼ Japanese, 1/8 English and 1/8 Italian-American! What a combination that will be - and how on earth will my child choose which box to select?