White House Introduces Its Version of Monopoly: Iraq-opoly

(Washington, D.C.) Further points of George Bush's plan for Iraq are being revealed. And for those staunch Republicans who say, "This isn't a game." Well...maybe it is. Except not Uncle Pennybags, but Uncle Sam will be the central figure in The White House version of Monopoly.

Iraqopoly will make its debut in the spring of 2007, claims a White House press release. The game is said to be "more culturally aware in order to appeal to consumers first in Iraq and eventually the entire Middle East, except Israel."

Iraqopoly is a joint effort between The White House and the Department of Defense. In order to fulfill its culturally enlightened mission, Iraqopoly will have more Iraqi identifiable game items, player tokens like a sandal similar to the ones used to beat images of Saddam Hussein during the early stages of the Iraq liberation; along with the sandal, additional token choices are an IED and an oil drill with Halliburton written on it. At a White House press conference, President Bush issued the following statement on the game. "For those who know this administration's policy in the Middle East, they saw Iraqopoly coming a long time ago." A follow-up question to the President of isn't this and the introduction of McDonald's to Iraq simply a thinly veiled attempt at colonialism was met with, "Who here hates Big Macs or Uncle Pennybags? If it is colonialism, it never tasted so good or was so much fun."

At a concurrent press conference held at a Georgetown Toys R Us, Robert Gates was quick to voice the President's message. "I've just started playing the game of Iraqopoly, and I haven't had so much fun in a long time. The concept of Iraq, Monopoly and the United States seem to be made for each other. And I can honestly say that the people of Iraq have no choice but to love Iraqopoly. By that, I mean it's, um, so much, um fun. Yes fun!" The Secretary of Defense then gave out Geoffrey Dollars, joking, "How much of these for an armored hummer?"