Who Am I and Brains for Birds

Recently my Friday duties involve me grocery shopping with my mom back where I grew up but haven't spent much time in the last 18 years. I get what I call the semi-recognition look. That's when they know they should know who I am yet because they wouldn't deign to talk to me when we were growing up they have no idea what my name is or how they know me. Most of these people have spent years working with or purchasing things from my mother at the local mall so they kind of sort of recognize her too and the two of us strolling down the aisle toward them causes a conundrum because they aren't sure how to interact. Here's a hint… if we didn't talk 18 years ago I'm not going to, nor do I expect you to, start now. Don't try to figure out who I am; neither of us really cares if you do or not.

The best part of this awkwardness was when I was semi-recognized early on but later was trapped in an aisle with mom and the semi-cognitive-schoolmate. Mom had worked with him for years and he was clueless as to who she was. He recently knocked on my parent's door looking for their support during elections and had no idea who they were! Guess how that vote went. He still didn't get it in the market. Mom was a bit confused too. She insisted his name was John. I'm sure he overheard me correct her; "No mom, it's not John from the paint store it Rick from your store and the last election. Remember Dad called him a bozo when he was looking for votes?" (Please note the names have been changed to protect the semi-cognitive.) Sorry Rick I didn't care what you thought of me 18 years ago when we didn't care if each other existed and I don't care what you think of me now that we still don't care if either exists.

And as if Rick was a bird brained enough I have these issues with feeding the birds. I do it probably to the extreme and it's not just the birds who partake of the free meal. We've got 2 kinds of squirrels, chipmunks, mice, voles, deer, raccoons, fox, skunks, snakes, and even a woodchuck. You see everything that is attracted to seed attracts everything that is attracted to it as a food. Suffice it to say there is a whole circle of life thing being played out in my backyard on a daily basis and I thoroughly enjoy it. There are some people who claim to thoroughly enjoy feeding the birds but they really only like the pretty birds to come to their feeder. God forbid some grackle show up and empties the feeder eating only the seeds it likes best. That gets the grackle a pellet to the head courtesy of a Daisy air rifle. This is totally bogus in my opinion. If you feed them they will come and you don't get to choose just the ones you think are cute. Unless you recently parted the red sea, walked on water, turned water into wine, or extended 12 loaves to 12,000 you don't get a segregate nature. If you don't like it don't feed them. Quite honestly if only the beautiful people were allowed to eat you'd be in trouble.

Wanton destruction is a pet peeve of mine so the people feeding the birds picking off the ones they don't like with a BB gun or laying traps to kill or capture and maliciously relocate the mammalians that show up ticks me off. You will not be making a dent in the grackle, starling, or cow bird population any time in the near future with your Daisy air rifle. As for the mammalians you are killing senselessly you should be sure to tell the priest about them while you're in your holier than thou confessional on Sunday morning making yourself a better person. Be sure to explain how unattractive creatures don't deserve to live. How many hail Mary's do you think you have to say to get dispensation for that?

Be safe.