Who Exactly is Nancy V Canfield?

Lately, Nancy Canfield has been writing a lot of articles where she reveals the secret lives of some Associated Content writers. As I was enjoying learning some extremely interesting facts about these people, I began to wonder how Nancy was getting this information. What resources did she have that I don't seem to have? And then it occurred to me, what do we really know about Nancy V Canfield anyway?

For one thing, why is there no period after that "V" in the middle of her name? Could this be some type of secret code to a subversive organization that gathers intelligence on innocent people? And why should anyone with such an all-American name like Nancy (Nancy Drew, Nancy in the comic strip, etc.) have a middle name starting with a "V"? I mean, maybe her name is really something to do with those V people in the TV show.

Honestly, we take her bio information as truth, but she says she lives in Maine, which is pretty far away from most of us in this country, yet she still seems to know a lot about people living in places as far away as California and Kansas. I think it must be that post office connection. I mean, after all, unless you live on a remote mountain in total wilderness, most all of us have access to mail. It does make me wonder about our local post office workers, though, when they start getting too personal in their conversation.

And let's talk about that career in the U.S. Post Office for 40 years. Do we really think anyone could work in that postal system for 40 years and remain normal? Are we supposed to believe that she worked all those years in a place where people have been known to be driven almost insane by the work? How is that possible? Is she Super Woman or something?

And think of all that glue Nancy sniffed all those years handling those stamps and envelopes? I thought people sniffed glue to get high, and if that's the case, her brain might be in a clouded state all the time. That could explain some of her obsession into the private lives of people.

Nancy claims to live in a house with her sister and family, but has anyone ever seen these people? For all we know, these people may be figments of her imagination or inmates in an asylum. Let's face it, we know that she's creative and I don't think many of us would be too surprised to find out that she sees "people" around her who might be invisible to others.

She actually came down to Mississippi one time to interview me, but I now think she was really just trying to get some dirt on me. I was amazed when people walked up to me later and asked me did I know someone called Nancy Canfield. They informed me that she was asking some very embarrassing questions about me. Fortunately, I have way too much dirt on everyone I know, and they didn't give her much scoop for her devious plot.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I think I'm going to be keeping my eye on Nancy V Canfield. I think we all should because you never know what she might say about you. My gut instinct tells me it might be a good idea.