Who Do You Go to when You Need to Cry?

I just read something a girl wrote that I think is something many youths encounter. This girl has been having a lot of problems lately in her life; her work is giving her trouble, and her ex-boyfriend broke up with her because she wasn't willing to have sex with him. Initially, she claimed she disliked him in the first place, and my personal opinion was that if she wanted to wait, and he didn't respect that, she should leave him. It sounds very cliche, but I do believe it's the right thing to do. If a person is trying to force something upon another person in the beginning of a relationship, this probably won't change later on in the relationship, when other differences arise. Perhaps I'm making assumptions that are audacious, but if a person acts a certain way in the beginning of a relationship, the chances are that he or she will not change later on in the relationship unless some great event comes in and changes their life.

What really bothered me about this young lady's story was that since she was feeling bad, she said she went to her previous ex-boyfriend because she thought he still had feelings for her. Two things seem very wrong to me about this situation. First of all, I believe she still had feelings for this guy while she dated another guy. That in itself seems wrong to me, but moving past that, she went to this guy because she thought he would still like her? Is it just me or does that seem a bit wrong? I can understand wanting to go to someone who cares about you for help, especially when you're feeling down and needing comfort, but to go to someone because you think they still like you seems immoral, somehow. I guess I see it as feeling vulnerable and seeking someone to make you feel better by filling that void that is created when you have lost your significant other. I know I'm a bit conventional with some of my ways of thinking regarding relationships, but it always really bothers me when a person hops from relationship to relationship with the intention of not wanting to be alone.

To add on to this girl's troubles, her previous ex-boyfriend now has another girlfriend. In all honesty, I can only think, "What did you expect?" In life, we never know what path is the "right" one for us, but we make decisions and use our own logic and beliefs to get us through our struggles. If we make a wrong decision, we can't go back in time, and ask to redo things. We just have to press on, regrets and all. Hopefully this young lady will understand that in her times of deepest sorrow, it is best to cry on the shoulder of a platonic friend, rather than on the shoulder of an ex-boyfriend, hoping he still has feelings for her.