Who Let the Dogs Out and Why Aren't They Barking?

Do you remember the "Seinfeld" episode in which Elaine was constantly being kept awake by a neighbor's barking dog? As I recall, she enlisted the help of Kramer to 'take care of the problem' for her. Of course, it was Newman who actually masterminded the plan to kidnap the little dog and 'relocate' him out of the city. For those of us who might share Elaine's problem, is there a solution other than hiring a 'hit man' to kidnap the offending dog(s)?

According to the folks at www.ultimatebarkcontrol.com, there is. "Stop yours or your neighbor's dog from barking now. The entire neighborhood will thank you", headlines their home page. "You'll rediscover peace and quiet with our highly requested bark control devices. Compared to other anti-bark products that are ineffective and painful, our bark control units are humane and proven to eliminate nuisance barking.

We even include a money back guarantee! Act now to solve your barking problems today. (Here, I'm assuming they're referring to the 'barking problems' of a dog, not the consumer, but you never know...)

In order to 'safely train your dog or your neighbor's dog to stop barking, yapping, howling or whining', we are strongly encouraged to purchase their "New!" Dog Silencer Pro. The trademarked Pro, pictured directly below a photo of what appears to be a boxer mix dog who looks like he may have something to whine about, looks very much like a baby monitor. "Only our exclusive Bark Recognition Technology detects barking up to three times further than any other anti-bark device available today."

Interestingly enough, especially since the Pro is a brand new, state of the art device, the normal price is $420, but "our LOW price just $89.95". Wow. With a price break like that, you might want to consider purchasing the Pro even if you live nowhere near a dog.

What do you get for your $89.95? The device trains dogs to stop barking in a humane way by emitting a high pitched sonic and - and! - ultrasonic sounds in direct response to every bark from the dog. (The sounds are inaudible to humans, thank goodness).

Some of its technological features includes the detection of barking up to three times' further away than any other competitors' models, which makes this product ideal for not only your own dog but the neighbors' as well. (Barking can be detected up to 75 feet away from the Pro, with sound frequencies traveling up to 300 feet.) A trademarked Sound Sweep technology "ensures that the dog will never grow accustomed to the sound".

You can use the device either with batteries (not included) or by plugging it into an electrical outlet; the Pro comes with its own little "Rain Jacket", making it water resistant, should you set it up outdoors. (Actually, you can set up the Pro either indoors or outdoors.

I'm assuming that the sonic sound travels through all kinds of windows, doors, walls, etc.) A 'complete pack" Pro, priced at "just $102.85", comes with an AC adaptor and a 75 feet AC extension cord. The device also comes with a 30 day money back guarantee. (No word as to the guarantee being granted to the original purchaser or the group of twelve neighborhood dogs who banded together to repackage the Pro and ship it back.)

UltimateBarkControl touts the 'humane' methodology behind the Pro; no shock collars here. (They do, however, offer a no-shock individual collar priced at $59.95 on their web site. That operates using the highpitched frequency sounds, too.) "...The Dog Silencer Pro can be used virtually anywhere without you having to ask permission from your neighbors. The Dog Silencer Pro trains dogs to stop nuisance barking (boredom and attention-getting barking), but is designed to have no effect on instinctual or protective barking", the manufacturer promises.

How can you - or the Pro - distinguish between 'bored' barking and 'protective' barking? Is there a difference in the tonality of the bark itself? How many barks constitute preventing a potential robber from breaking into the house next door? How many - or how high - does a bark have to be to be determined 'whining'? Do all dogs bark the same under the same set of circumstances?

I wonder how many dog lovers/dog owners had a chill reading that anyone can purchase a Dog Silencer to be used to prevent their own dog from barking? I no longer have dogs, but I felt really uncomfortable with the thought that someone could be sending high-pitched, ultra sonic sound waves to my dog to keep it from 'nuisance' barking. A number of older folks that I know keep their dog around as a deterrent against break-ins. When someone wants or needs to have their dog bark for a specific reason, why should that dog be subjected to a battery of extremely unpleasant sounds?

Among its 'exclusive features', the Pro boasts of being the world's first indoor or outdoor bark control device, as well as the first to operate either by battery or electronically. "Our exclusive High Pressure Transducer carries sound further than any other anti-bark unit on the market so even the most strong willed dog can't feign deafness." 'Strong willed dog'? A dog 'feigning deafness'? Does the Pro have to puncture an ear drum to work with a 'strong willed dog' in order to work?

The Pro package includes a small keychain remote control. This "luxury" (their word, not mine) enables you to be able to manually trigger the device any time from 500 feet away from the unit, should your dog or another little barking machine be outside the 75 foot sound sensor range. Apparently, this is one really hot feature. With the remote (or 'special convenience', again their words), you can use the Pro to "customize your dog's training to include staying off furniture, away from the trash and anything else you want to teach your dog to do". Aha! We're not buying the Pro just to keep the Smith's poodle from barking when Fluffy is bored; we're also using it to train our Rex not to knock over the kitchen trash can. But what price do we pay for this kind of training??

You may have noticed by now my sarcastic tone in describing the Dog Silencer Pro; if you haven't, I probably lost you on paragraph three. I am really, really on the fence about this type of product for several reasons. I resent the fact that someone can buy one of these and 'aim' it at a dog that I might own. I think that's an invasion of my privacy and my right to keep and care for an animal. I'm not sure exactly how 'humane' it is, either. Granted, it certainly is a huge step up from a shock collar. But then again, a shock collar could only be used on one's own pet, not a neighbor's dog. The manufacturer states that the volume/intensity of the ultrasonic sounds can be adjusted, and that the dogs within its range never become 'familiar' to the annoying sounds. They also state that the Pro may not work on older or deaf dogs literally because they can't hear the sound waves.

If you choose to buy and use a product like this on your own pet, perhaps you have really good, valid reasons. Maybe you won't be able to keep your dog in your house or apartment unless you can somehow 'cure' him from incessant barking; maybe the neighbors are on the phone at 2:30 A.M. to let you know that your pet has been barking for the past hour and woke them up. Keeping and maintaining good relations with your neighbors is important, no doubt. But doesn't the idea of buying a Super Dog Silencer Pro to be used/aimed at your neighbor's collies seem not only sneaky, unneighborly and downright unethical? I honestly don't know; I think you have to make a case by case decision on the Pro.

I would strongly suggest that you check out the manufacturer's web site, www.ultimatebarkcontrol.com, to find out additional information for yourself before you buy - or decide not to buy.