Who Are These Voices in My Head, and Why Can't They All Just Get Along?

Have you ever felt as if you had other voices running around in your head telling you what to do? Have you ever felt as if those other voices in your head are constantly reminding you of what you do wrong, more than reminding you of what you do right? Do you ever wonder why all of those other voices in your head are in essence mini images of yourself? I know I sure do, at least I think I do. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Oh hell, I don't know what I think.

Now before you start to worry that maybe it's time for me to seek professional help, and God knows it would be justified since I am raising two teenagers, stop and ask yourself if those other voices in your head are really defining who you are as a parent. Parenting is a very confusing experience for all of us. It's never right and it's never wrong. It's never black and it's never white. There are times when I am convinced that I am doing the right thing, and then there are those times when I have no idea what I am doing. There are times when I feel guilty with the choices I make, and then there other times when I am proud of the choices I made. There are times when I rely on others for advice, and then there are times when I just wing it. There are times when I know that I should have handled the situation different, and there are times when I question how I ever made the right decision.

The problem for me is that each of my good decisions, each of my bad decisions, and each of my choices as a parent, seem to have their own little voice in my mind. There are times when I know that I made the right choice in dealing with my kids, but for some reason that voice never seems to speak up very loud. Then there are times when I know that I have made the wrong choice, only to have that voice scream loud and clear at me. I have learned over the years that regardless of which little voice in my head is screaming the loudest, I need to remind myself that it is only one voice.

As parents we have all made mistakes in our lives, and in all likelihood will continue to make more mistakes. Remember no one gave us a manual on how to do this. Parenting is a series of choices and decisions that are never as bad, nor as good, as they seem at the time. Our kids need to see us make mistakes. Our kids need to see us learn from those mistakes. It is through those mistakes that we teach our children two lessons. First, we are human and as much as we would like to be perfect we are too busy raising kids to be perfect. And second, we as parents, as well as our children, can make a mistake and be better because of it in the long run. If you worry that in your past you have not used common sense or horse sense, but only given your two cents don't worry. Each day we are making deposits into the memory banks of our children with our actions. Give yourself a break from those loud voices in your head yelling at you when you make a mistake, and listen to the calming voices that remind you parenting is not about making the right choice each and every time, but making a choice. Our past choices are what made us who we are. Our past choices do not define us, but empower us to become better, happier and more successful at the greatest job we could ever have been given, raising our children.