Who Are You Trying to Be?

To some extent, we all want others to see us in a positive light. Very rare is the person who never aims for the approval of others. Most times, when a person like this does surface, it's often discovered that they became this way through a series of events where they experienced disappointing others or others have, instead, fallen short of their expectations. These experiences have caused them to work hard at no longer caring what others think. By and large, however, most ordinary people are concerned about what others think about them, which brings us back to the original question:

Who are you trying to be?

Are you trying to be someone in someone else's mind or are you focusing on who you are in your own mind? After all, it's easy to appear one way to others, while often being someone else completely inside. For instance, you may appear to have it all together on the outside while serving your community, supporting your family and working hard to advance in your career. However, at the same time, inside you may be harboring hatred towards others in your community, resent having to care for your family and are in a career which leaves you feeling unsatisfied because it's not what you truly wanted to do in the first place, but chose it for financial reasons or to impress others. Conversely, on the outside you may appear to be fickle, self-centered and heartless, while on the inside you care quite a bit for others, experience strong emotions and spend a great deal of your personal time contemplating life and the universe, but never let this inner-you seep out choosing, instead, to keep your "real" personality guarded and safely tucked away. While these may sound like extreme personalities, to some degree, many of us can relate to appearing one way on the outside, while harboring a completely different person within. Why do we do this? More often than not, it's because we have fallen into role-playing in order to make others feel comfortable or to win their approval.

Today, let's challenge ourselves to be honest about who we truly are within. If that person within needs some tweaking, then so be it, but let's be real about who we are to ourselves and to others as we seek to improve ourselves strictly because we want to and not solely to win the approval of others. This may sound like a selfish act, but in the long run, when we tune into our authentic selves and work our way up from there, we are much more satisfied with life and with the world around us. This person is bound to be a better version of you that others will ultimately learn to love and enjoy as well. So take an honest look at yourself right now and ask yourself these questions:

Do I often feel misunderstood?

Do I often feel like others don't really know me?

Do I find myself constantly worried about how others perceive me?

Do I obsess over the things that people say to me or to others about me?

Do I long for approval, praise and accolades from others and how do I feel when I'm not noticed for my "goodness" in any area?

Take a moment today and really contemplate these questions. Delve deeply into your soul and dig out the most honest answers you can find. Afterwards, make a more conscious effort to be aware of when you find yourself tailoring your life around the notion of being accepted by or rewarded by others. Always remember that, while there is a certain amount of conforming we must do in order to keep life flowing in a comfortable realm for all, we are at our best when we are being our best for ourselves and not solely for the appreciation of others.

Just think about it.