Who Would Want to Have Sex with a Child?

Who would want to have sex with a child? Who could possibly find a child sexually attractive? What kind of person is capable of perpetrating sexual abuse of children? These questions are often asked when thinking about child sexual abuse. Although the questions are valid, they do not reflect the issue of how we, as a society, perpetuate the sexual abuse of our children. Sexual predators do not seek out children simply because they find them sexually attractive. There are many reasons why adults sexually abuse children.

There is no one profile for a sexual predator. Unfortunately, they do not wear a sign. Sexual predators are male or female, any ethnicity, and come from any socioeconomic background. They are clergy, teachers, doctors, coaches, neighbors, or family members. Most children become the victim of someone that is known to them and/or their family of origin. More often than not, the child has been entrusted to the care of the perpetrator in some way. This may be through a parent sending the child to music lessons or perhaps simply to school. Sometimes the perpetrator lives in the home with the child. For these children, it is a betrayal of their trust, and an end to their innocence.

More often than not, sexual predators actively seek out a vulnerable victim that they can control and manipulate. These predators are ultimately seeking power and control. As a society, we teach our children to respect their elders. We teach them to obey and trust all adults. We teach them not to 'tattle' on others. We teach them that adults have all of the power. So it is no surprise that children learn to question or doubt themselves, not adults. When it comes to being sexually victimized, children also have learned to blame themselves, not the adult.

Sexual predators rely on these societal teachings to manipulate and control children. It is very common for sexual predators to use these very teachings to exercise their power over child victims. The goal of the perpetrator is to use a child's innocence against them. As a society, we have made the predators' job easy. As a society, we have handed over our most vulnerable population to individuals that seek to control, manipulate and destroy.

Perhaps the wrong questions about child sexual abuse are being asked. Maybe the time has come to ask why children are not heard, why children are blamed, why are children so easily seen as liars, and why perpetrators are not held accountable in our judicial system. Perhaps we should ask ourselves why we, as adults, unconditionally trust another adult over our very own children. Asking who commits this crime is a valid question, but we should also be asking why we continue to put our trust in adults above believing what our children are telling us.