Why 50 Cent is a Genius: Vitamin Water is Only the Beginning

I don't know if 50 Cent has ever taken an IQ test, but I'd be willing to bet that if and when he does, he'll score in the genius range. Despite his questionable moral character and some lame sexual metaphors in songs like "Candy Shop," "Magic Stick" and "Amusement Park," there's no denying that 50 Cent is one of the most intelligent rappers - and for that matter, entertainers - of our time.

Consider these facts:

Vitamin Water

Most rappers are content to provide free advertisement to various alcoholic drinks in their songs; a couple of years ago 50 decided to invest in Glaceau, the parent company of Vitamin Water, with a formula 50 line that sold 10 million bottles out of the gate. When Glaceau was recently bought by Coca-Cola for $4.1, 50 netted a cool $400 million from his investment.

50 realized that alcoholic beverages have a limited audience, while a product like Vitamin Water appeals to all ages, and what's more, actually promotes physical health, or at least doesn't detract in it. 50's investment showed a foresight many other rappers lack, and it paid off.

Beefs

50 is notorious for crushing opponents with ease. In fact, it almost seems too easy.

With Ja Rule, following a long back and forth between the 50 and Rule camps, it took little more than 10 words in "Back Down" to instantaneously expose Rule for the clown that he is; 50 casually uttered "you sing for hos and sound like the cookie monster" and Rule's career was, for all intents and purposes, finished. Now 50 just made $400 million dollars from an investment in water and Ja Rule is nowhere to be found.

What's more, 50's latest response to Cam'ron's "attacks" couldn't have been more effective. While Cam stood in the backyard of some vacation home in boxers and a white tank top, showing off his pool and claiming he's not in hiding, just on vacation, and it's going to be a "hot summer," 50 Cent merely sat back and laughed.

In his response to Cam'ron's ill-advised video diatribe, 50 noted that his whirlpool is bigger than Cam'ron's pool, and that Cam may very well be delusional, appearing on camera in "daisy dukes" and making the rest of his crew look bad. What's more, 50 wondered what Cam'ron meant by "it's going to be a hot summer." "I'm looking forward to the summer," 50 said. Game, set, match.

Speech

If you've ever heard 50 talk about anything of a serious nature, it's quite impressive. He's able to simultaneously break down and sum up complex issues in a sentence with alarming simplicity. Take, for example, his thoughts on continuing a rap beef after it's well-done: "When you try to destroy a career that doesn't exist, you create one," he said in an appearance on the Carson Daly show. Think on that for a minute.

On that same show, 50 spoke about the war overseas with a sharpness and sensitivity that belies his aggressive persona: "I think a person's spirit changes with that much death around him," he said.

Thoughtful and quite profound. Who knew 50 had a softer side?

Curtis

Cam'ron's main (and pretty much only) diss in his beef with 50 was drawn-out chants of "Curtissssss" to mock 50 Cent's given name, Curtis Jackson. So what does 50 do but turn the "insult" on its head and name his forthcoming album "Curtis." Furthermore, 50 has stated how ludicrous it is to use someone's birth name as an insult, making Cam'ron look like the fool (again) for relying on such lame tactics to win a battle.

Ventures

Besides his multi-million dollar rap career and his $400 million payoff from Vitamin Water, 50 also has a line of footwear with Reebok and heads the G-Unit clique, which has its only wildly popular clothing line. Visit any suburban town and you're likely to find some white teenager with a G-Unit hoodie in his possession, exuding false toughness like its their birthright.

That, too, is why 50 is so smart. He's figured out how to embody an aggressive gangster that raps about being shot nine times yet is still palatable to 14-year-old suburban white kids who see ghetto life as some kind of video game. Those teens will never experience or even fully understand 50's struggle, and they don't need to; as long as they buy the marketable representations of it and 50 laughs all the way to the bank.