Why I Abhor Harry Potter

I know there are millions of die-hard Harry Potter fans out there in the world today, but I am sorry to say that I am not one of them. In fact, I hate Harry Potter so much that I will not even read one book or watch any movie with the Harry Potter name on it.

Okay! Okay! I will confess that I actually did watch a couple of the famous Harry Potter movies on DVD, which were Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, when I was living with my ex-fiancé in Kalispell, Montana during the summer of 2006. My ex-fiancé was a typical die-hard Harry Potter fan, and because I chose to ask her to marry me last year, I did not have a choice but to watch a few of her Harry Potter DVD movies.

After grisly watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, I immediately felt this strong nauseating urge to run into the bathroom and start puking my guts out in the toilet.

Now, do not get me wrong, or anything. The acting and special effects in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, were not just bad. Nope! They were extremely awful! We are talking a complete lack of George Lucas's Industrial Light and Magic special effects and no Steven Spielberg creative directing techniques. Even a simple Bugs Bunny cartoon on cable television would have been more entertaining then watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire or Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

The acting and the special effects in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, were so disgusting and revolting to all of my natural senses that I wanted to call for an ambulance after nearly puking my guts out in the toilet.

A few months after my revolting experience of watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, my ex-fiancé finally broke off our engagement in September of 2006 and she left me for a car salesperson. She then married this car salesperson three months later in January of 2007 and is now currently pregnant with his child. She will give birth in December of 2007.

No matter what you might think, my ex-fiancé did not leave me because I did not like watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. She really did leave me for another man who sold cars for living and did not have a college education.

This is another reason why I hate Harry Potter. Harry Potter is a character that makes some people in the real world, like my ex-fiancé; actually believe there is such a thing as true magic in love, or possible even sex.

The Harry Potter character is mushy, sensitive, egotistic, and clumsy while being pretty much a major dork in the making. He defiantly could never squeeze his skinny little buns into the impressive Khaki colored pants of Indiana Jones, or even use a bullwhip with as much creativity as he does waving around a magic wand and innocently destroying things with the flick of a wrist.

Nope, Harry Potter is definitely a twerp in my book and I can see why George Lucas and Steven Spielberg never showed any interest in trying to produce an original Harry Potter movie. I hate to say it, but I would rather spend my time and money watching Indiana Jones snap his famous bullwhips then watch Harry Potter flick his magic wands with bad CGI computer animated special effects.

Well, there you have it, folks. You know the truth as to why I abhor Harry Potter. I have not read any of the Harry Potter books and I never will for as long as I can normally draw breath into my healthy lungs.

If you are a die-hard Harry Potter fan, then I am sorry, but I would never want to be you in a million years! Nope! Just give me good-old Indiana Jones and his cracking bullwhip any day of the week and twice on Sundays! At least Indy is an adventure that has the creativity of Steven Spielberg and the imagination of George Lucas. What does Harry Potter have for imagination, besides a magic wand and a talking owl? No thanks!

Harry Potter is a total square, and when it comes to watching magic and adventure happen on the big silver screen, you need a real fictitious masculine character like Indian Jones. At least Indy knows that when it comes to delivering quality magic and adventure on the silver screen for audiences living in the real world, it is definitely cool not to be a square.