Why I Am so Happy and How I Got There

I've never been happier in my life like the times I was up to no good. There was always something so satisfactory in playing harmless tricks on others or jumping out into a quiet room, quickly screaming like a banshee and scaring a loved one out of their wits. Not that I don't still get some mild enjoyment from those immature antics, but I've learned since my earliest days what true happiness is.

Webster defines happy as "experiencing joy and pleasure." In order for someone to know what joy and pleasure really are, they first have to know sadness and pain. You can't know how light it is without darkness and you can't know how happy you are if you've never been sad.

If I was to color code the timeline of my life based on how happy I have been, my twenties would have been the Dark Ages, colored blackest of night. Those were the years I suffered the greatest pain and loss I never want to go through again. Getting lost in what seemed like a vicious cycle of horrible events and finally coming out of it only mildly scarred, I think that I can admit to having lived through trauma. There is light at the end of the tunnel, even if that tunnel happens to be a decade long.

What I now know about being happy is one of the simplest answers anyone could ever give. It's obviously not because I'm wealthy or "made it," whatever that means. What I'm happy about are the people and things about me that have been with me all along.

I have a great family and one true best friend. They are my support system who love me no matter how silly I act, how much I annoy them, or how many crazy ideas I come up with. As a matter of fact, they love me for who I am. This makes me very happy.

My understanding of myself has grown by leaps and bounds over the last year. I understand that where I am is where I am supposed to be for now. When it's time for a change, it will happen, and until it does, I'm going to enjoy where I am. I know that I am free mentally and emotionally, because I know myself. I know what I want, what I enjoy, and I embrace who I am, like never before.

The most important reason that I am so very happy is that I've met the love of my life. I feel so serious about this relationship that it sort of scares me. This man has shown me a side of love that I didn't know could be achieved. He has shown me true love, the kind that I have been searching for since I was a child. He is smart, funny, cynical, and wonderfully brilliant. He is sexy, taller than me, and honest.

I am very happy about all of this because I have proven two people wrong. Two of the most influential people in my life, my mother and my grandmother, have been proven wrong. They told me when I was ten or eleven that there was no such thing as true love, that true love does not exist. My mother went on to say "It's better to be with someone who is in love with you and don't be in love with them, that way if something happens, you won't get hurt."

Well, if this, what I share with this particular man, isn't true love, then it doesn't exist. And you know what? I don't care if I do get hurt. I'm a big girl and I can handle it. Yeah, it would suck, but I know that I would have rather experienced true love at least once in my life if the consequences are getting hurt than to never have experienced it at all.

That is why I am so happy; because truly and honestly, I am fearless of the future and what tomorrow might bring. I don't fear the sadness or the pain. I embrace joy and pleasure like a lost child looking for his mother and I nurture it. I am very happy and I choose to continue to be for the rest of my days, no matter what may happen.