Why Your Boss is a Jerk and Some Tips to Help

Unless you have some other form of income stream independent of the marketplace, you need your job. Sometimes that also means putting up with a boss who comes across as a jerk. Over the years, I've ran the gamut of bosses and their different personality styles, and I can say without hesitation, most of them have perfectly valid reasons to seem like a jerk. Let's save everyone unnecessary stress on the job, if we can, and consider some possibilities. Terms like "jerk" are so subjective, after all.

Maybe they're struggling. Before any boss is written off as terrible, try considering what their upper management is laying on them. Compared to how their boss treats them, maybe your boss is a saint. Before you file that complaint, remember, the law does not require management to be "nice," and no company expects their managers and employees to be friends. What matters is the company achieves its goals, whatever they may be.

One suggestion is to communicate in a crystal-clear manner to your boss that you are there to help get the job done. Ask them what their biggest headache is, and offer yourself to help them with it. You may be surprised to hear the answer, and there could be a promotion in it for you, as well.

They're human, too. Pressure from "on high" isn't the only type of struggle a supervisor could be enduring. Personal problems can affect them, just like anyone else. Regardless of the good advice of checking your personal life at the door, they're just as human as you. The boss's dependents get sick, they have car problems, bill collectors, and other personal issues just like anyone else.

One suggestion is to think before you respond to what seems like a personal attack. It really is as easy as a deep, abdominal breath, and remembering professional behavior whether anyone else does or not.

It could just be growing pains for them Another type of struggle for a boss is that companies often promote from within. In his book "The Peter Principle," (ISBN-10: 0061699063 and ISBN-13: 978-0061699061 Co-authored by Raymond Hull) Dr. Lawrence J. Peter theorizes most managers have excelled in their field of work, and have therefore found their area of competency. When promoted to a supervisory position, they're removed from their area(s) of competency, and assigned a role requiring a completely different skill-set.

Although "The Peter Principle" validly points out the different skill sets when moving from worker to manager, his theory is often debated. Even if Dr. Peter's incorrect, your boss could be struggling with the changes of an entirely new role.

One suggestion is to remember we're all flawed human beings. Mistakes will happen. Toes will get stepped on. At the very least, accept each problem as both a lesson, and perhaps even an opportunity, in itself.

Maybe it's you. Are you a chronic complainer? Are you a gossiper? Do you joke too much? Are you lazy or incompetent, yourself? Do you often fail to meet company goals? If you find yourself answering yes to these questions, it might be best to either "shape up, or ship out." Oftentimes in life, what we get from others is nothing more than a response for what we're communicating.

This is not to say anyone should tolerate harassment, discrimination or any other form of actual abuse. I'll even suggest you always stand up for yourself in the face of real injustice. Just pick your battles wisely. But, before jumping to conclusions about your boss, try considering if the problem is you. Consider what you contribute to the company, and if you find yourself unable to meet the company's needs, perhaps it's time to look elsewhere for employment.