Why New Brides May Want to Reconsider a Name Change

If you are marrying for the first time, and you are relatively young, changing your name may not involve many headaches. If you are older, however, you may find yourself (as I did), wishing you had kept your previous name.

If you do change your name, start with visiting your local social security office, first, armed with your marriage license, old social security card, and birth certificate. You will want to have on hand over the next few months, many copies of your marriage license. You will need these.

When considering forms that will need to be switched over to your new name, you need to think beyond your new checkbook signature. I suggest you begin with your financial forms since insurance policies, investments, etc. will all need to be updated. From here, move to mail correspondence, including credit cards and any bills that come in your name; however, I still receive magazines in the mail under my old name, and that isn't really a major concern.

You also need to consider the many forms containing your old name related to your professional life. First, of course, contact your employer. This is especially important for medical insurance forms, tax forms, or any 401K plans you may have. While you are at it, ask about changing beneficiaries for these forms. If your old name is listed on anybody else's forms, remind them to update these as well. If you have worked in a number of different jobs, you may have more of a paper trail to follow. Don't forget to update any current degrees or certifications you have acquired and/or current credits you are in the process of receiving and any on-line data used professionally. You will also need to obtain an updated driver's license.

If you already have school-age children, you will need to alert your child's school.

You may also want to update any correspondence through your place of worship if this applies.

When I was widowed and later remarried, I took my first husband's last name as my middle name since this was the same name my son retained. This was many years ago, and it has caused me a great deal of difficulty. For example, my new husband and I had purchased land from my parent's and they had signed the land over to me as my new last name, but kept my original middle name, by accident. I then had to deed this land over from my "old me" to my "new me" . . . this cost me $39 to do this, even though I had already paid for the original deed but due to technology, the computer wasn't recognizing both "me's" as the same person.

I also had to have my teacher certification reissued to the "new" me and the on-line data needed to be corrected. Requesting transcripts also became problematic and required a phone call in addition to the now customary online request.

And since I had started a small business as the old me, I needed to update my business cards, web-site, invoices, and numerous other forms used in this area.

My son's financial forms in my name also needed to be updated, as did his school forms.

As for financial and insurance forms, I am still not fully "switched over" even though I have been remarried for more than three years, as many of these institutions require an original death certificate of my former husband, an original marriage certificate of my new husband, and a formal, notarized letter.

Finally, my first husband's friends (military officers scattered all over the world) who may have lost touch, now have more difficulty contacting me and introducing themselves to my son. These are classmates who knew my husband when we was only a few years older than my son now is; classmates who could most definitely share with my son some memorable stories about his father.

The first time I married, in my early 20's, changing my name was much less complex. That wasn't the case in my late 30's. Because of this, I don't believe I would attempt a name change, again.