Why Can't I Be Better?

I have long contemplated reading the Biblical writings once again. Yet, as fate (my laziness) would have it, I have refrained from doing so. Even though my promise was that I would return to such readings (and a writing of my own interpretation). I will once again find myself picking up a Bible on this night. I see myself, not as a righteous man, nor as a good person. However, I am seen by many as a good person. True, I do good things for people around me and I am by no means an asshole (the exceptions are usually ex girlfriends and people I'm close to). I am still flawed and far from where (and who) I want to be. This evening, my decision was to again, pick up my Bible. Realizing that I am missing re runs of my favorite show (two and a half men), I continue in my search for something better. Charlie Sheen may be awesome but I must cast his hilarious antics into the back of my mind in order to obtain a better knowledge of life. Fate is a cruel thing, as the way God made it. Men are evil from the youngest of ages, the way God made it. I was reading through Genesis, as I stumbled upon the story of Noah. Something took a deep breath, held it for a minute, then proceeded to shout this at me:

Genesis 8:20 - 21 And Noah built an altar unto the Lord; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt offerings on the altar.
And the Lord smelled a sweet savour; and the Lord said in His heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.

For the imagination of man's heart is evil. God even admits, we are a deeply flawed species, and He created us! I pose a question: Why?! Why does He let us stay the way we are, if we are so flawed? Why has He set up so many plans for us, when we are so horrible? Why does He set in motion a fate to guide us through life? ( Side note: In my eyes, life has become such a drama, that once you step back a moment, it becomes a comedy.)

Do I have an answer to why He puts up with us and loves us as He does? Perhaps. Does anyone have a child? Alright. For those of you that do, would you still love your son or daughter if they grew up and became a mass murderer? Yes, you would still love them because they are your offspring, they came from you. Ofcourse, you would be quite disgusted at the fact that they did what they did but you would still love them as your child. Is that what God sees in us? Surely, it must be. In all this world does, it is all a testament to God's patience. I have not even begun to fathom such patience! Fate has led me through the trap doors of sin, time and time again, yet I'm still here. God still puts up with my disgusting, often times useless, heart. Is it this willingness to better one's self that keeps us, as a species, alive? Perhaps it is our readiness to repent, the reason why we have not collapsed as a society.

Though, I cannot say weather or not we can truly become better. I've tried and I've failed, I continue to try again. There are times that I succeed... but all successes come with some failures. As a people, as a social body, we are not a mature enough generation to take up the mantle of running the world. Look on YouTube, there are so many fart videos, it's not even funny anymore. The products of the upcoming generation are not, (how shall I say it?), our best work. I am not a historian, however, so I cannot say if all generations act in this manner (surely they don't). Many things have revolutionized the way we even communicate with one another. Thus, also bringing up another issue of the evilness of man's heart. Such things as pornography are rampant throughout many of our social networks. Hell, there are websites that you can find a mate for that night and never talk to them again, ever. That's almost like a hooker service. It is wrong, man! But we do it... because, as God said, the imagination of man's heart is evil. Every day is a fight against selfish ambitions. In reality, that's much of what sin comes down to, is being selfish or protecting one's self. Perhaps, there are such sins that, in the right context, can be percieved as a righteous sin. Those, however, are few and far between. We have to want a better life for ourselves and for our children in order to become better. So that, there might be a day, that God does not say of you, "this man's heart is evil." Rather, He might say of you, "this man's heart has overcome evil and is pure." I feel that it is God's will to help mold the hearts of those that want and strive for it. I just hope that one day I can look in the mirror and finally see in myself what I've worked so hard for: A better me.