Why Can't My Family Just Let Me Be Who I Am?

How to Deal

Chen Salis
Why can't my family just let me be who I am? I frequently asked myself this question when I was a teenager. I was very annoyed by the constant voicing of opinions and suggestions. Honestly I resented the meddling in my life by my family.

My mom was always in my business, in my room, and in general in my face. My dad was disappointed by everything I did. My sister wanted to play match maker constantly. I longed for independence. I assumed when I turned 18, my family would leave me alone to live my own life. Was I wrong!?

I was afraid I would never grow up. As I was 21 my parents and siblings were still offering , meddling and trying to push me in several directions. I wanted to be me, who I am. I could not understand why I wasn't fine their eyes.

Eventually my desires of freedom and the hope of discovering who I would become lead me 1300 miles away from home. I loved my first taste of adult life. However I also realized that being a responsible adult is a lot of work, if you aren't prepared for the responsibility.

I gained insight on my situation. My family couldn't just let me be who I am, because they love me. They want the best for me, and they have all made mistakes they would like to help me avoid. I guess what they say is true. With age comes wisdom. I am lucky to have been annoyed by my family.

If my family didn't care, they wouldn't have bothered. It wasn't that they were trying to keep me from being myself. They were simply loving me. Some of it was tough love.

Despite what I thought, my family hasn't been trying to interfere with my life, or prevent me from being myself. They are simply trying to guide me. After offering me a loving safe home, a healthy family life, and many wonderful privileges and experiences, my family wanted to guide me into adulthood.

When I think back, I realize I was sheltered. My family knew my innocence would make the transition difficult, now I realize they were trying to help me. I only interpreted it all as meddling, and an annoyance. As an adult I am grateful that they 'interfered' in my life. They prevented me from making really huge mistakes, and they molded me into a mature responsible adult.

Published by Chen Salis

World traveler,  View profile

2 Comments

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  • Pat Burroughs4/12/2010

    You've just proved the old adage, "Hindsight is better than foresight." I guess that happens to most of us.

  • SFaloon4/4/2008

    Perfect. I was a teen once and a mother of 2 teen sons now. You have very good insight.

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