On the flip side of all of this, cheaters who text can be caught by savvy spouses.
It's Silent and Sneaky
Texting can be done silently. Your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend may be in the next room while you silently text with someone else. With a camera phone, you can even exchange pictures. Text messages and photographs can be easily erased (although they're never truly gone).Cheaters believe that by deleting their messages, they are safe from discovery. Of course, there is software available to recover deleted texts and pictures, if one really wants to.
Passwords
A smart cheater may use a password on their phone and will always make sure not to send any texts about their infidelity to their friends or family since that information can be stored on others' phones. iPhone owners can even make sure their incoming message preview screen remains private by turning off their SMS Preview.
Should You Spy?
Cheaters also know that if their spouse does spy on their text messages then they can get a court order against them. Do you remember the man charged last December with reading his wife's email after using her password? If you do suspect an infidelity you need to proceed with caution and not get caught. It's best to check the suspected cheating spouse's phone when they are asleep or in the shower.
You also might suspect they are cheating on you if they are very protective of their phone or they check their messages at odd hours. They may also leave the room to text.
Now What?
If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you and do have some technological evidence, the next thing to do is gently confront the spouse. They may deny the affair. Or they may agree to change or they may ask for a separation or divorce. This is the time to figure out what both of you want to do and therapy can definitely help during this limbo-land after the affair.
Texting has made cheating easier, but no less painful. Before texting, cheating spouses used their cell phones to talk, which weren't as easy to hide the affair. But once cheating is suspected trust is shattered and the marriage is at a turning point. The sad truth is that a cheater will use every means possible to conduct the affair and since texting isn't going away, partners need to trust in each other and try not to suspect their spouse of cheating at every message coming from another person. That being said, partners should also know about how easy it is to cheat with texting and look for other signs if their marriage is in trouble.
Published by Nancy Travers
Relationships - we all want them and we all need them. I can teach you how to get them and keep them. I am Nancy Travers, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and I want to be your relationship counselor for da... View profile
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