Why Children Misbehave

All of us want to avoid the static of misbehavior in children as much as possible. Life is just more pleasant for us and for them without it. If you know that behavior matches self-image, you can see that once cause of misbehavior is a negative self-concept. The child who believes he is bad tailors his actions to fit this view. He plays the role assigned to him.

Usually, the more a child misbehaves, the more people scold, punish or reject. And then the more firmly entrenched his inner conviction becomes that he is "bad." Chronic misbehavior can be rooted in a damaged view of self, but low self esteem is not the only cause of misbehavior.

So many youngsters (and adults) whose behavior is detrimental to themselves and society as a whole-dropouts, delinquents, and dope users-privately believe they are hopelessly inadequate and worthless. They grope for personal meaning and fulfillment. But their misdirected efforts lead to self defeating behavior.

The youngster with high self esteem is rarely the problem child. He walks, talks, works, learns, plays, and lives differently from the one who dislikes himself. His inner security radiates outwardly in his actions. As adults such individuals are better able to work constructively on the problems and inequities that exist in our world. Their solid cores free them to be innovators rather than hostile destroyers. The child with self respect is likely to be a constructive member of society and contribute a great deal to the world.

Countless parents say, "I only want my child or children to be happy." But they are uncertain as to how such happiness comes about.

A study aimed at pinpointing the difference between happy and unhappy people concluded that the single most impressive difference between two groups was that the happy people were successfully involved with others; the unhappy ones were not. Low self esteem acts as a roadblock to personal happiness by preventing peaceful involvements. One of the biggest problems facing almost any organization is that of people who are thorns to others. More progress is snagged on interpersonal relationships that we may fully realize.