Why I Choose to Be Child-Free
Just a Fraction of the Reasons Why I Choose to Be Child-Free
While some might question those who are child free by choice, I am glad to see that living child free is becoming more socially acceptable. People are starting to see the benefits of living child free. There are many reasons why one might choose to be child free, but I am here today to tell you my side of the story.
Being child free is something I have simply always known I wanted to be. I was a single child coming from parents who divorced when I was 2, and as much as I still had a healthy and loving relationship with both my parents growing up, the traditional role of getting married and having children was never implemented on me. But that's not all. I have never had the desire to have children either. I can't imagine what it would be like to be pregnant and give birth. As much as some women say that it is one of the most beautiful things a woman can ever experience, to me it sounds horrid, and something I would never wish upon myself. Further from that, changing diapers, cleaning up pukey messes, wandering around cleaning up toys, lowering my position of importance to myself from #1 to #2, or even #3? Having to drop everything for the sake of someone else for 18 years or more? Forget it! I am always going to be #1, and that's the way it is! I like having my freedom. I like being able to travel and enjoy the fruits of my labor without having to compensate or accommodate a child. I like having that flexibility in my life.
You might think I'm being pretty selfish, but let's turn the tables for a minute. Suppose I did have children. Suppose my life changed drastically, and I became a parent, forgot about my career and started focusing on my family. For a while, it might be okay. I would have this new love in my life unlike any other... Being a mother and giving birth to a child is a very powerful thing. But then, reality sets in. I can no longer go out to dinner on Friday night, just because I want to. Taking off to the coast for the weekend on a spur of the moment, is no longer an option. Making plans over lunch to do dinner and a move. Not! So you see, for me, making those types of sacrifices would not make me a happy parent, and an unhappy parent does not make a healthy child. Some of us were simply not put on this earth to have the desire to have children.
Let's take Oprah Winfrey for example. Oprah does not have children. She is child free by choice. This does not mean that she doesn't like children, she actually does a lot for them! But, she chooses to be an active part of society in a different way than being a parent. Weather or not we like Oprah, we all acknowledge her success and power in this world. Would she still be where she is today if she had children? One will never know. But, let me just remind you of this. Do you like Oprah? Do you think any less of her because she is not a parent? Probably not. So please, if you are going to judge the every day Joe for not wanting children, judge Oprah too. We have all been put on this planet for different reasons. For some of us, raising children into strong, smart and intelligent adults, is part of our journey. For others, it may be something completely different. Just because everybody else is doing it, does not mean that I should too.
I am not here to try and convince you that you shouldn't have children, or even that you should. I am purely here to help you see that we are all entitled to our own choices, and as much pressure as some of us get about 'when are you going to have children?' tends to get pretty old. So, the next time you come across someone who is child free by choice, and you just don't get why they would choose such a thing, maybe take the time to understand. We all have different reasons for making the choices we make in life. But the power of a choice, is that we can always change our mind.
Published by J.M.
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42 Comments
Post a CommentAnd I have to laugh at the person who said "What if we had no Christopher Columbus?" Christopher Columbus is the type of person who never should've been born. Over 100 million Native Americans were slaughtered because of that murdering thieving piece of crap. I would kill myself if I knew that was the type of person my child was going to grow up to be.
I don't think there's anything wrong with putting yourself first. Many women sacrifice their whole lives for kids and men. We're finally starting to love ourselves and have self confidence. Another thing I never understood is the argument of "What if your parents felt the same way?" Um, so what if they did? Would I be here crying about it? No, I wouldn't. Yes, my child could be the one to come up with a fantastic idea to save the planet, but he could also become the next Hitler. And in all honestly, so what if the human race died out from no more childbirths? Good riddance!
Children are a luxury. People need to plan for them the same way they plan for second homes and careers with many years of expensive training.
My question for people who want kids is this: did you spend thirty hrs sitting around last week wondering what to do with your time? If not, how are you going to find even 4.5 hrs/day to spend with your kid once you have him? How much time do you think you SHOULD spend with your kid?
If you want kids & you have reason to believe you'll be a decent parent, then go ahead and have them. But please, for the love of god, think it through in advance.
MrAirsoft -- "Having children contributes to the demise of the planet." "Very few people are worth, quantifiably, more than the resources they use." Although I'm fairly certain you couldn't care less, I pity your myopic view of human life. And the self-centered "I am always going to be #1) attitude of the author of this article typifies what is wrong with our society. I don't argue that the author should have children when she clearly doesn't want them, but the attitude that our personal wants and desires are the most important is largely responsible for the decline of much of our society. And perhaps why so many are beginning to value animal and plant life over human life. In a word, tragic.
Fantastic article! Having children contributes to the demise of the planet. Also, it is much better to contribute one's resources to established lives, rather than focusing on a new one that will only drain the earth of resources. Very few people are worth, quantifiably, more than the resources they use.
but if everyone thinks like tat, your parents too, you all wont be here commenting here...and babies are not unneeded, u may never know if your kid would be the one who would think of ways to save the planet...my opinion...
I can totally see where you are coming from. I myself don't have kids yet but would'nt mind later, but all the time ppl harp on me about having kids. If I have them or I don't, does that make me less of a person? NO.
Great Article. I knew there were ppl like me who chose to live life with out having childern. Just didnt know how many..i knew when i was 11 years old i did not want to become a mother. i never had the notion of loving a child of my own. i never felt the love when i held babies. Im proud that both my parents support my choice in life and im now 23. i love life and live it to the fullest. i laid down the information to my soon to be ex husband of not having kids. he excepted it. and he straight out told me he didnt want any either. until year n half in the realtionship he told me he wants kids. and i told him my ground and what i was Diagnose with that provented me to have any of my own. and now we are in the middle of a divorce. i give full support to people who wants to be a mother because of the love in there hearts.
well,.....it is a good article and everyone is entitled to their opinions right? and differient people makes the world,..but having a child is about the the new life and the love. when i was little my parents werent always good. children arnt a nuisance. they're just innocent. being a parent does not mean "o! i have to take care of them because i have too!" no, being a parent is loving the feeling of it. i disagree with the fact that you call them a nuisance when we were the same. didnt all you parents take care of you through hard times?! and who knows maybe if you did have a baby it will become a famous one. e.g, without george washington being born who the hell knows what kind of a government we will have today? or christopher columbus? believe me, i dont even want to have a child when i grow up, but i have a good reason. because of how my father was i cannot risk the chance of my future husbands talking about him and my child going through the sake of crying and being horrified. bu
Good for you! Parenthood should only be for people who truly want children. Too many people procreate thinking it is just expected of them. I always knew I wanted children, so here I am with a baby asleep on my lap. But if you don't want children, then it is very responsible of you to accept that realization. Good article!