Why Is Competition Bad For Kids?

We recently attended a t-ball game for 6-7 year olds in our town. Every kid batted in every inning. There were no outs, no score, just kids running around the bases. I don't get it. There are measures in schools and youth organizations to remove competitive situations at every turn. I do not understand the philosophy. The basic reasoning seems to be to remove negative situations so that the kids do not lose self esteem. In the t-ball game, a parent explained to me that they did not want the kids to have the negative experience of making an out and feeling bad for disappointing his team. Now, I realize that this was a group of small children, but geez why even play? There is no attempt to teach rules or anything remotely resembling a game. This may be fine for 6 and 7 year olds but it seems to be more prevalent in activities for older and older kids. If they are always handed positive experiences how will they ever make good adults? It is a fact that we live in a competitive world, like it or not. Youth are competing for the best schools, scholarships, and jobs. If they do not achieve success and yes, failure at an early age why do we expect them to handle it better as they get older?

We coach a group of teenagers in national competitions. Due to a high level of competition, sometimes they win, sometimes not. However, they become better each time that they compete, not necessarily more skilled but better people. They learn that the important thing is to try your best every time, congratulate those who outwork you, and work even harder next time. The hardest kids to coach are those who have never failed. We occasionally get a teen who has really never had a negative competitive experience. Almost every one of these kids quit after the first couple of competitions if they do not find immediate success. Why? Because they have never been in a "gut-check" situation. Because they have never been allowed to fail. The work ethic may even be there, but there is a fear of failure as if it were a living thing.

There is a lot of talk about self esteem but what about good old fashioned character? Building character takes more effort than self esteem, effort from coaches, teachers and parents. Not just a pat on the head and a "good job, Billy". Building character takes keeping them grounded when they win and building them up when they do not. It takes parental involvement and a trust in the coaches and teachers who are involved with developing our young people to succeed in life. Failure is not the end of the world but an opportunity to teach and to prepare for greater success.