Why I Couldn't Fight in the UFC or Any Other MMA Match

For those of you that have not seen a version of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighting yet let me ask you, "Where have you been?" Whether it is the UFC, Pride, or even the prime time airing on CBS of Elite XC, MMA is everywhere. Yahoo has even giving it its' own sports page. Granted some of these fights and that is what they are, lack the beauty and grace of other mainstream sports, and there isn't the tradition as found in baseball or football, but MMA is becoming more popular or at least more watched by the day. I guess anytime you put two people in a cage with the sole intention of beating the other into submission by any means possible, coupled with the element of betting, you couldn't possibly go wrong. I also believe that many people, men especially, watch with the sentiment of "I could beat that guy." While I personally enjoy watching it, I know for a fact I could not and would not do it.

Much like bar league softball which is full of "athletes" still trying to live the dream, I am sure many watch MMA thinking they could, with minimal training, step into the ring, cage, or octagon and defeat any number of fighters they see on television. These are probably the same people who still see getting into a bar fight as a sign of toughness and who generally have a body fat percentage well above 20%. Again, I am not one of those people. It has nothing to do with my body fat but I did pick a percent I am fairly certain I am below having. I simply know my limitations and getting punched, kicked, choked, or otherwise compromised into a position where parts of my body may be broken or torn off are far outside those limits.

MMA fighters are highly trained athletes who are in superior physical condition. I am not. And unlike professional wrestling, these fights or matches are real. The thought of spending six, eight, ten hours a day working out doesn't particularly appeal to me and neither does the fact that I would be doing it so that I might either beat or be beaten by another human being. Perhaps I just lack the natural aggression that it must take in order to be an elite fighter or perhaps it is that I do have that aggression but it is severely outweighed by my laziness and selfish sense of self-preservation. Whichever the case, I could not do it.

There are also a few other factors that I am personally uncomfortable with. One being these fighters wear nothing more than a pair of gloves and trunks, some being of the spandex variety. For the good of humanity, not to mention my own feelings of inadequacy, I should not be seen anywhere wearing only these items. There are also issues I have with the whole sweatiness, loss of various bodily fluids and close personal contact that would probably limit my performance. Some may find these exhilarating, I tend to not.

Now all of this might lead one to believe that I am totally opposed to MMA fighting, and in fact I would be, if I were involved. However, the safety of my sofa affords me the luxury of personally avoiding any of the arm bars, triangle chokes or kimuras designed for making one's opponent suffer or fall unconscious and so I am pretty much good with seeing others take a beating. While I do personally enjoy watching MMA fights, and may occasionally spout off with a comment about what so and so should do in a particular fight, by no means would I ever survive even one round in the UFC or any other MMA event.