Why Did I Get Married
A Prelude to Something yet to Come
I love me some Tyler Perry and his ability to hit the nail on the head with humor. His messages are almost, always true (from my family perspective at least). I can' t wait to see "Why Did I Get Married?
Tyler and cast members from "Why Did I Get Married?were on Oprah yesterday. I am a Janet Jackson fan. I am a HUGE Jill Scott fan. But I really wanted more dialog about why people get married.
I have never been married. I've never come close to whatever it is that makes a man look at a woman and is convinced his life will be incomplete without that specific woman. But I had picked out the dress, theme and the man; by age 12. Luckily God takes care of children and fools and knows me better than I ever will.
My 12 year old fantasy will never manifest. Not that I'm a doubting Thomas. But more that I have matured beyond fairytales and I can't think of a reason to get married.
So I'm asking all married folks, why did you get married?
I'm not trying to get in your business or start any mess in your homes. I'm just curious. I would love to be married. Isn't that the ultimate compliment; someone wanting to be with you until death. I just don't want to do it for the sake of doing it.
I'm an incurable romantic and I need someone who I am in sync with. I need my mate to be all right with holding my hand, spooning, talking, cooking, teaching, learning and sharing with me. I need him to be grounded and be ready willing and able to commit to me. I don't think I'm asking for too much. No more than I'm willing to give.
So why did you do it? What sparked that flame? What got you to a place in your life where you looked at that person and said, "I can't stand not waking up next to him/her?" How do you keep it fresh (and I'm not talking about sex). How do you communicate if you were high school sweet hearts and are rounding up on 40 years of marriage?
Give those of us who are hopeful some words of wisdom. Or just leave a love note here for your best guy/girl to read as a means of rekindling something special.
Oh, and thanks for sharing!
Published by Break A Leg!
Gail resides in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex. By day she is a program specialist at a community college (assisting first responders with their funding needs). The rest of the time she is a commercial, fi... View profile
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6 Comments
Post a CommentBravo David. BRAVO!!!
I too am a hopeless romantic...I'm still not sure if it is social acceptable for a man to say that. I always wanted someone who would accept me for me...someone who did not expect me to change...unless it was through my own person development. I wanted someone whom I could lavish all my mushy romantic loving affections upon that would appreciate and reciprocate appropriately; and not think that I was soft or too sensitive because I'm a male. As an "emotional" male who is in touch with his humanity and emotions, I love who I am! I was/am blessed to have found a woman who accepted all of what makes me...me. I got married because I wanted to be connected to someone who had similar beliefs and was a critical thinker. Someone who would compliment me and help me be a better man. There is someone out there for you, just be good with who Gail is all by herself, don't change you, unless it is for the betterment of you. Know what you stand for and don't compromise. The right man is out
My now husband, kept asking me to marry him. I was a single mother of two at the time and was convinced that I was better off without a spouse after my first marriage failed at age twenty. One day I was very depressed and we had gotten into an argument that I had started(imagine that). I told him that he should walk a mile in my shoes. He told me the sweetest words that I had ever heard from a man or anyone else, he said that I shouldn't have to walk and that he would carry me. On December 7th of 2005 we were married. I married him because I wanted to know what true love felt like and to know that no matter I did in my life, there would always be someone to share it with.
Marriage is beautiful but I say, "GET THE STUFF FIRST!" Remember the job concept of "dress for the job you want to be in and perform those duties even if that isn't in your current description"? I think that should apply to relationships. I want to have a strong foundation laid and a mutual, constant curiosity to pay witness to my loved one's life and propel them forward individually and together. Plus all the mushy stuff! Then the ceremony could be the big party to commemorate what the couple, and the world, already know.
I'm so happy to hear that from a man. Most men I know got married because "she got pregnant". No reason other than that. I met a guy years ago who said his dad told him that's ONLY reason to get married. His brother go two girls pregnant at the same time and their dad said,"Pick one". I guess he chose the lesser of two evils??? Sad. Anyway, thanks for the input. Anyone else . . . . Don't be scared
Oh Boy...there are some loaded questions! Love and respect are sometimes earned, at least in my case. My wife settles me and she is fiercely loyal. She has been by my side through thick and thin. Sometimes I wonder about those folks that have never been tested by fire in their relationships...are they or could they ever be as strong as we are? All I know, when I look back at my life (such as it is), My children and my wife are the one constant and truly wonderful thing. Here is hoping you take the risk one day. Good Luck.