Why Does a Woman Lie If Not Wanting to Date a Man?

Why does a woman lie when a man asks her out and she doesn't want to go? It makes no sense. Maybe most women think they are hurting men's feelings if they tell the truth. But most men don't like to be lied to and in the end are more hurt than if they were told the truth.

When I was in high school, the first girl I ever asked out said, "Richard, you're a nice guy, but I'm not interested in dating you." Yes, it hurt at the time, but I was grateful she told me the truth. I knew for sure nothing romantic would happen with her, so I moved on.

Some of the answers women have given me over the years have left me feeling as if we would date later. Like this one--the woman I asked out said, "I can't go out because I promised my cousin I would babysit for her this weekend, but, please, ask me again." So I waited for a couple of weeks. She told me the same thing--word for word. A month later she said the exact same thing. It was then I realized she did not want to go out with me. I don't know if she was just leading me on to see how many times I would ask before I gave up, but that's what I thought at the time. I never spoke to the woman again.

Other time I asked a girl out, she said, "Yes." On the night of our date I drove to her house and knocked on her door. No one answered. I knocked a second time a little louder and still no answer. By the third time I knew no one was home. Why didn't she say, "No," upfront and save us both the hassle? I had made reservations and plans for the night and there I stood with no date. A few days later when I talked to her she claimed she had forgotten. I knew that, too, was a lie. We had talked about it just the day before and she said she was looking forward to it. Of course, I never asked her out again.

Another woman told me her life was a mess and she wasn't going to date anyone. A week later she was dating. Why didn't she just say she wasn't interested? It would have been much less of a heartbreak once I discovered she was dating someone else.

One woman said, "Yes," only to tell me later she couldn't go because she had a boyfriend. Why would any woman agree to go on a date when she already has a boyfriend? When I told my friends about this they all told me to stay away from her because she had mental problems. I didn't think that was the case, but I did think she liked to play head games--which may be a form of a mental sickness, I don't know.

All in all, it just does not make any sense or is any easier on a man for a woman to lie about not wanting to date him. No matter how much she thinks she's saving him from being hurt, she's not.

So, ladies, if you really don't want to hurt a man, tell the truth, but you don't have to be mean. You don't have to say anything like, "You're ugly and I would be caught dead anywhere with you." You can simply say, "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in dating you. Please don't ask me again." The man will more than likely thank you for your honesty.