Why Don't Your Children to Want Do Homework?

The battle over homework is one that takes place in almost every household with children at some point. Parents try punishment and incentives, cajoling and yelling, logic and "because I told you to." But sometimes none of these tactics work, and that is when parents need to try more specific ways to get their children to do homework.

The first step is to find out why being told to do homework creates such a negative reaction. Very few children are actually so lazy that they don't want to complete the work even when they are given rewards or have privileges taken away, especially very young children.

The most likely culprit is a lack of understanding. When confronted with problems they don't understand, after struggling for a while, most children will give up. Depending on what they are hearing around them, they may feel that they are too stupid or lazy to understand. If this is the problem, parents should sit with their children and work from the child's comfort point. For instance, if the class is working on long division but the child is still laboring with multiplication tables, the division is going to seem too difficult to tackle. Back up and work on multiplication for a while, gradually moving on to the other tasks.

Other children may feel this lack of understanding because of stress. Some children feel tremendous pressure to perform well, and this can lead to a reluctance to do homework. Parents don't often feel like they are pressuring their children, but adults may make statements about the high grades other children get, the importance of good grades for the future, or have unreasonable expectations of their child's ability. Rather than an incentive, such stress may cause increasing frustration. The harder the child tries, the more tense he/she gets, and comprehension plummets. It is the same principle as what causes test anxiety. Relieving the stress is the only way to break the cycle. These children often put pressure on themselves, either in addition to or instead of that from parents, so focusing on strengths and being sure to include stress-relieving activities in the day are helpful ideas.

Children with an undiagnosed disability may also be unwilling to do homework. If you think this might be the case, talk to the school to find out about testing. Even if your child doesn't qualify as a special needs student, knowing the type of disability will help the child cope with it, and having documentation will help parents and children deal with difficult teachers. The kind of learning issue determines what assistance is needed. For example, for students with a reading disability, having assignments read to them can increase their comprehension tremendously. Children who have trouble with writing might have someone write for them or be allowed to use a word processor. Perhaps neither visual nor auditory processing works well for your child. In that case, try to create hands-on activities that illustrate concepts. Build models out of clay, or you and the child act out the plot of a reading assignment together.

No matter what the issue you deal with when trying to get your child to do homework, you must stay in contact with the teacher/teachers. They can do a lot to help the situation. They may be able to offer books or websites with more information or exercises, they may be able to allow the student extra time to complete assignments and catch up with the class, and they may be able to spend extra time with your child working on concepts and making sure assignments are clear so there is more likelihood of the child being able to do homework.

Without the teacher's knowledge of the problem and your assistance, especially if parents intervene in the middle of the year, the teacher may be suspicious. Perhaps your child has convinced another student to do homework for him/her. Maybe your child is copying the work of another or from a similar assignment found somewhere. Why has this child suddenly decided to do homework?

You can alleviate these fears and get help both within and outside the classroom by talking to the teacher.

In the end, there are lots of reasons children don't want to do homework. Positive reinforcement for a job well done is a good idea in any situation, but parents also need to find the underlying reason for the child's unwillingness to do homework. Discovering that cause will be more helpful than any other suggestions about setting aside a particular time, giving rewards, and punishing poor grades in getting your child to do homework.