Why I Don't Have a Girlfriend

When people ask if I have a girlfriend, I always respond with a 'no' and then add on the fact that I'm not looking for one during high school. People respond in various ways:

"Dude, that's whack. Having a girlfriend is the best thing in high school. You should get one."
"Oh, how interesting."

However, only a handfull of people have responded with something along the lines of, "That's awesome. Respect."

Respect is what it really comes down to. It's not respect for just the girl, but to the girl's parents as to why I don't really like the idea of dating in high school. There have been too many cases in which the parents have been disrespected because of their kids dating, particularily those who try to keep it a secret. If the parents don't approve of the relationship when you're in high school, the chances of a successful relationship is close to zero if not zero.

Which brings me to my other topic--what is a successful relationship? This question is an enigma really with no definate answer. Some say it's one that lasts through marriage and with both people dying at a very old age. Yet, some may argue that marriages are ones where you are happy whether that be when the couple is together or is seperated. Then, there are the ones that combine the two points and say dying old together happily.

Well, while in high school, it's kind of hard going to try and stay together with your girlfriend given the situation that most students are in. Most relationships are cut off once they head off to college. Other relationships may last slightly longer, but many do not survive through college. So with relationships ending on bad terms more common than those ending on good terms, why would anyone want to have a serious relationship in high school?

Some may not want a serious relationship in high school, fine. But what's the point of a relationship when it isn't a serious one? To learn and gain experience for your actual serious relationship? But doesn't a relationship become much more meaningful when both of the people learn and gain experiences as a couple?

One person gave a comparision as an example to show the image that we present ourself as. When we get married with someone, we are giving ourselves to the other person. So what if we used a flower to represent ourselves. The flower petals will be the wonderful things we have in store for the other person. When you hold someones hand intimately you take off a petal. Or when you hug someone intimately you take off another petal. When you kissed someone from a previous relationship or some other incident, then you take off yet another petal. This goes with everything else that people do in relationships--cuddle, sleep together, sex, etc. So lets say someone goes all the way with someone before his wife. He will then present to his wife a flower with no petals..not a very amusing gift for the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, is it? However, a person who holds off all of these things until marriage will be able to present a much more beautiful flower.

This then leads back into the respect factor. How much respect are you showing your future wife when you make out with a girl after prom or whatever? How about her parents? How much better would it be to be able to say to each other on the alter that this will be the first kiss? Well, I'd think so at least. It would make the marriage that much more special.

So how do we know if the other person will be that one special someone? There's no real concrete way really. I guess that's the real enigma here. Though this may not always work, but I think that one of the best ways of finding out if that person is right for you is by seeing what kind of friends she has and how she acts around them. Knowing what kind of friends she has really helps because chances are she will tell them everything about what's going on in the relationship and they will play a big role in her decisions affecting the relationship. So I guess in some ways that Spice Girls song was right, "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends."...hah.

In conclusion, I would have to say that relationships are very confusing and hard to deal with. It's not something that kids in high school should be dealing with or messing around with. This may probably be due to the fact that males are too stupid and females are too complex even for themselves to figure out. Whatever the reason is, I am still standing firm against relationships in high school mainly because it is disrespectful.