Why I Don't like Veterans Day

I'm a vet, and I don't like Veterans Day. Like most reasonable people, I'm not against veterans, those currently fighting abroad, or for me specifically, the Marine Corps. My heart breaks when I hear about yet another death overseas, so I'm not heartless, and I too appreciate those who served and continue to serve. I don't hate Veterans Day, it just makes me uncomfortable when my civilian friends thank me for my service, and while it's not a popular position, I know for a fact I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I've ran cross a few blogs written by both vets and civilians, who say they don't like Veterans Day because of the commercial aspects, or because people should thank vets everyday instead of one day a year. These might be valid frustrations, but the word scapegoat comes to mind, because those reasons are so perfectly p-c. Those are excuses I might use in a pinch to justify my aggravations to someone who wouldn't understand, but for me, it goes much, much deeper.

Both Veterans Day and the Marine Corps Birthday (November 10^th - the day before Veterans Day) make me extremely uncomfortable. The giving and receiving of compliments on these days are painful, and personally embarrassing. I don't change my profile picture to one of me in uniform on Facebook. I don't wish my friends happy Veterans Day, and I don't say, "Happy Birthday, Marine!" to anyone on the Marine Corps birthday. There is however, one recycled status comment floating around Facebook that I can sort of relate to:

"A Veteran is someone, who at one point in their life, wrote a blank check payable to the United States of America for an amount up to, and including, their life. Regardless of personal political views, that is an honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer remember that fact."

Most of my friends post this quote because they served in the 90s during peace-time and left service before 9-11. It's a way for us to remember that our time served wasn't totally wasted or worthless. In the 90s, we didn't sign up to fight in a war or primarily to protect our country. Most of us used the military as an escape from a bad or difficult situation. We weren't drafted, and we didn't join in the thick of an ugly war. At the time, only a small minority joined for patriotic reasons. It was a different era.

After completing two tours, I left the Marines three months before 9-11. On that day I was already established in the civilian workforce, but felt guilty about leaving my friends behind as they went on to fight overseas. My civilian friends often told me, "These things happen for a reason," and perhaps that's true. Maybe the universe decided it was more important for to be to be the stable element in our family for the children - the parent who would never have to leave for six months to a year here and there.

So if you walk up to me on Veteran's Day and thank me for my service, I will say, "Thank you very much," as gracefully as possible, but please be understanding when I cut the conversation short and slink away. I'm not ungrateful, just uncomfortable and unworthy. Some of my active duty friends who have served in Iraq or Afghanistan several times would prefer to avoid the fuss as well. Some serve but don't agree with the war. Either way, it's a sensitive situation. Maybe instead of thanking us, you could make a quiet donation to the Wounded Warriors Project. The ultimate thank you is making life a little easier for wounded vets and their families.