Why You Don't Have to Wean & Shouldn't Feel Guilty About It

Most mothers are advised to wean their child to a cup by age one. Everyone gives a different reason for this recommendation, but if it's so important, why don't doctors agree? While it may be best for bottle-fed babies to switch to a cup at this age, there is no reason to stop breastfeeding. We are conditioned as a society to associate nursing with babies. Extended breastfeeding isn't very common, so it is misunderstood and considered socially unacceptable. More and more mothers, however, are choosing to nurse their toddlers, though, with good reason! The worldwide average age of weaning is about 4 ½.

Some doctors say that continuing to breastfeed will interfere with your child learning to use a cup or eat solids. Children are quite capable of nursing a few times a day, eating solid meals, and drinking from a cup. My 21-month-old son nurses about three times a day. He eats breakfast, lunch, and dinner and empties several sippi cups throughout the day. Your child will learn to use and like sippi cups and to eat solids, whether you're nursing or not. Breastfeeding doesn't put a child's brain on pause. It actually promotes learning, as studies show it boosts intelligence.

Some doctors will tell you that breast milk no longer contains antibodies or has nutritional value after one month, six months, or a year. This isn't true, as breast milk has been analyzed to prove this false. Breastfed toddlers continue to be healthier than their weaned counterparts. They get sick less often, get less sick when ill, recover faster, and have fewer ear infections and allergies. Breast milk contains nutrients and antibodies for as long as it is produced. The truth is that after age one, however, children need nutrients and calories from other sources as well to be healthy.

Breast milk continues to be the most-easily digestible food and provide protection against obesity and various other illnesses. It is also sometimes the only thing a toddler will eat when sick. Once my son had diarrhea and refused to drink from a cup or eat any solid food. He would only nurse. Had he not done so he would have become very dehydrated and lost a lot of weight, which would have been very unhealthy. My breast milk kept him in good shape and helped him fight off the illness.

Dentists will say it is bad for their teeth, but if this were true, they'd advise against cow milk and juice, too. Children can't just drink water; they need the calories from drinking other fluids. Letting breast milk sit on your child's teeth all night without brushing may contribute to decay, but that's unlikely. Children who nurse are less likely to have Early Childhood Caries, and in countries where babes are at the breast all night, the instance of Early Childhood Caries is less than here in America. The anatomy of breastfeeding makes it unlikely that breast milk will ever sit on a child's teeth, especially past age one when mom isn't making as much milk anymore. Instead of weaning, brush and avoid extra-sugary foods.

Bonding doesn't end at a certain age. Nursing continues to be a loving experience, a quiet moment of relaxation and bonding. You can continue to nurse through pregnancy and tandem nurse a toddler and newborn. That is a great bonding experience for the siblings. They can't do much together yet, but nursing is one of the first things can infant can do with an older sibling. It's quality time and builds a sense of security.

Comfort is one of the biggest benefits of extended breastfeeding. It can calm a screaming child, soothe a sore throat, and comfort a sick toddler. It diminishes pain and can relax a toddler who has skinned her knee. Nursing can also help a restless child get some sleep. It makes flying easier on the child and the people on the flight, because her ears don't hurt as much--and she's less likely to cry the whole way. Breastfeeding, quite simply, can make everything all better for a toddler.

The benefits for the mother continue as well. Every day you breastfeed you decrease your risk of many illnesses. You have continued protection against various cancers, osteoporosis, and other problems. It can help the mother keep weight off and stay thin. It helps her pocketbook by saving her money on milk--and doctor bills! It's good for everyone involved. By the end of year one, you should be such a pro that you have very limited issues with breastfeeding.

If you are advised to wean, do research first. Get second opinions, and do lots of reading. There are a lot of myths about breastfeeding even in the medical community. A condition, nursing obstacle, or medication may prompt your doctor to recommend that you wean. In fact, many doctors will blame almost any problem on breastfeeding. Most nursing obstacles can be overcome with support, such as mastitis and clogged ducts. There are lots of medications safe for breastfeeding--and alternatives to ones that aren't. There are very few conditions that actually require a woman to wean. Don't give up nursing without a fight, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for continuing to give your child the best start in life.