Why Everyone Needs "the Blessing" or at Least Acknowledgement of Their Human Existence

First, to clarify what it is not: The Blessing is not about religion, or anything "spiritual;" nor is it about "approval;" rather, what it is about is acknowledgment-- acknowledgment of one's place as a full human being, emphasized by one's own personal choices and decisions.

Anyone can benefit in a positive manner from the blessing; but it is even more significant if the person upon whom you bestow it is your child, your parent, or a close friend. Although this subject is not as widely-understood as it should be, the consequences of never receiving it are unusual and often disastrous. A person who did not receive the blessing in childhood or youth may go through his entire lifetime "sabotaging" his future; and, in too many instances to count, elderly people in declining health have even been known to "outwit" death for an extended period of time simply because they feel it is "not o.k." to let go of life and its "unfinished business"-- and prolonging life in this manner is not in the person's best interests.

What, then, is "the blessing," and why is it so essential? It is basically a "rite of passage" in which an individual is given the "go-ahead," the acknowledgment as valid of his decisions, his wishes, hopes, dreams, goals.

For the lucky ones, this begins at some point in childhood when a family member, friend, or some other respected person asks the child "What do you want to be when you grow up?" As basic and simple as such a question may sound, it is indeed a rite of passage-- verifying the child's status as a Person whose place it is to make this decision for himself. From this he learns that making his own choices is seen as a good thing.

Many people are not so fortunate. In some locations, cultures, or backgrounds, it is not unheard of for parents to believe that all of their child's life decisions, big and small, are not the child's place to decide at all, but theirs. Some believe it is their place to make such life-determining decisions as what career their child should undertake, what person he or she should marry, where he or she should live-- and many continue to hold that opinion even when the "child" is an adult.

In the case of older people, many succumb to the same type of pressure of "others" attempting to impose their decisions rather than respect the individual's own, not only from elderly parents but from their own children or closest friends. To paraphrase from Dr. Martin Luther King, such an adult is "made a victim of decisions in which he played no part," and his only resemblance to a human being is in his motor-responses-- for the ability to make and follow through on one's own life-determining choices and decisions is the standard by which one is a full human being.

You may not agree with your child's or parent's or friend's decisions, hopes, goals; their preferences of where to set down their roots, whom to marry, what line of work to go into, etc., may be far different than what you would like; but the point in giving the person your blessing is not about agreement or preferences, it is to let the individual know that you do acknowledge the fact that it is indeed his or her life. Make a positive difference to someone who is in your life-- especially in instances of those who are not accustomed to hearing it, ask "What do you want to do?" and back it up by giving the person your blessing.