Why Facebook is Better Than Myspace

Social networking sites are all the rage. Why? Because people don't really like dealing with eachother unless it's in text and pictures. Two of the biggest social networking sites are Myspace and Facebook, and I've had accounts on each because, well, I'm scared of actual human contact. However, I've got a definite preference for Facebook over Myspace, and here are some of the common sense reasons why.

1. Facebook is less emo than Myspace.
If I want to read about some teenager's angst in leetspeak, I'll read livejournal. I'll never do that, though, because Facebook isn't designed around the profile like Myspace is. You can't put crappy Fallout Boy songs on your page so that they start blaring as soon as it loads, you can't put videos of AFI regretting their own existence almost as much as I regret their existence, you can't do anything except maybe put "Catcher in the Rye" as your favorite book. And if you do try to emo-out on Facebook, your friends will rag on you for it on your wall. Which is the way it should be, Myspace.

2. Facebook has no "Top Friends" list, which Myspace has.
Hey, I've got enough drama in my life without ranking my friends in order of their importance and watching the fallout when they argue over placement. The alternative is even worse-suppose I take a lot of time to rank my friends and none of them care? How am I supposed to feel about that? Facebook doesn't try to make me judge people the way Myspace does; I'm free to do that privately.

3.You can monitor relationship status on Facebook.
On myspace, you could never tell if that hot chick in your physics class was really with that big dude who was her lab partner, but on Facebook you can easily look it up and cry yourself to sleep when you find out you don't have a chance with her. This is why the Internet was invented; we can avoid rejection at the source and focus on breaking up the relationships of the people we're attracted to. Plus, relationship status can let people who are into us know we're not into them. In your face, Myspace; you could never match Facebook here without losing your core demographic of online sexual predators.

4. No technical errors on Facebook.
Dammit, Tom, fix your website! Myspace is plagued with "This error has been forwarded to our technical department," messages that make you want to drive your head through an ironing board, especially after you write a 2,000 word essay to your girlfriend explaining why the new Fallout Boy album is better than the new AFI album and look up to see it lost forever. Of course, both albums suck, but that's not the point. As one of the most popular websites on the Internet, don't you think Myspace should've fixed these problems by now? I mean, c'mon, it's owned by Fox! Fox wouldn't put up with any inaccuracies or problems in its reporting, would they? Okay, bad example. Facebook runs smoothly, and that's all that matters.

I'm fed up with myspace. As soon as I post a bulletin to my 5,000 friends that I added using a myspace bot, I'm leaving for the sanctity of Facebook and I'm never looking back. I'll annoy all my friends by poking them every time they log on, and I'll tag people in pictures when they're not actually in the pictures. I'm also planning on writing a lot of notes and asking people to comment on them, and I'll message people I haven't talked to since grade school and ask them if they know anybody who's looking to meet someone.

God bless technology; I'm never going to need to leave the house again.