Why Family Storytelling is Important

"Dad, please tell us a story!" pleads one child, the oldest.

"Yes Dad, tell us a story about when you were little," chimes in the second child.

"Daddy, and then tell us a story about when I was little," chips in the third.

"A story!" shouts the fourth and youngest as he jumps into my lap.

"Once upon a time," I start out. And so another story begins, with the kids anticipating an adventure from their father. My children enjoy hearing stories more than watching television, viewing movies, or even playing computer games.

What is it about storytelling that separates it from all other devices that use plots, themes, and characters?

First and foremost, telling a story involves relationships. The relationship of the story teller to the story listener is a one-to-one or one-to-many relationship. Who is telling the story? Is it a parent, a grandparent, an uncle, or a cousin? This sets the framework, the context, in which the story is being told. It gives the listener a tangible relationship to the story.

The story may start off simply enough. "Years ago, when I lived in La Crescent, Minnesota, with hilly apple orchards on one side of the town and the might Mississippi River on the other side, I had my first day of school."

Instantly a thread is sewn onto the tapestry in the listener's mind. There is a now a connection with the listener and the scenic town of La Crescent, Minnesota. And if the listener has had his first day of school, then another tie occurs, and the listener can relate to what the story teller is about to say.

As the child hears stories about Great Uncle Wade or Great Great Grandfather Stevens, the patterns on the tapestry begin to take shape in each child's mind, and eventually the child himself begins to understand how he fits into the big family picture. The child may not know all the lines of ancestry, but implicitly he will begin to realize that he too is a piece of the family mosaic.

This can play a tremendous role in affirming and improving a child's self esteem.

A child hearing stories about his father's childhood and his grandfather's childhood will attest that his own childhood has value and is worth remembering.

A child who hears about the time his father got into trouble and was punished will understand that his own misdeeds and punishments are just part of life. "Dad wasn't perfect, and he's not expecting me to be perfect either. Dad had troubles at times, and so will I."

I have fond memories of my grandmother telling me stories about her childhood; I enjoyed hearing Mom's stories of our ancestors and how they settled the plains of western Nebraska; and I always liked listening to Dad's stories of his youth while we'd be out in the fishing boat on a lake somewhere. I remember the stories and I remember who told me the stories.

Television and the theater are impersonal one-way streets. No tailoring to the listener's needs is possible. I remember watching "Sound of Music" but I have no idea who I was with when I saw it. I remember some of the "Maverick" episodes on television, but I don't know who watched which episode with me.

Storytelling requires the listener to use some imagination in picturing the characters, the scenery, and the events as they unfold. The listener gets to use his brain. This doesn't happen as much with television and movies, though it can happen with radio and book reading. The advantage that storytelling has here, though, is that the storyteller can shape the story to the audience, making it as humorous or scary or happy or sad as the situation warrants.

Television and movies may also cause the viewer to have to think, but more often than not those devices are only vessels of entertainment. "Check your brain at the door, and just sit back and enjoy."

Finally, storytelling is a healthy exercise for the storyteller himself. I have discovered for myself that as I reach back in my mind to tell a story, I remember things that I had long forgotten. When I first started telling stories to my kids, there were two or three stories I would tell over and over again. But soon I was able to recall more, my childhood was unlocked (or maybe unleashed), and a flood of stories rushed downstream.

This has tremendous value in helping me to fill in my own tapestry. I now see the relationships so much more clearly with my ancestors in one direction and my children in the other.

Besides the unique benefits that storytelling has, don't dismiss the obvious plus of the quality time spent among family members.

Sure, it's fun going to the movies, but does that really do anything to strengthen the family bonds?

Try storytelling! It might be tough at first, but keep at it. You'll find that you remember more than you think you would.

And your kids will love you for it.