Why Friends Do Not Exist
Unfortunately, almost all of us have gotten screwed over by someone we thought was our friend, especially those we call "best friends forever". We thought they were always going to be there and you never ever imagined them stealing your husband/wife. The naked truth, ladies and gentlemen? Friends do not exist.
Think about it. Your family is the only people that were there for you since the beginning on the day you were born. No matter how bad ties may get throughout the years, you can guarantee your family will be at your funeral. Parents and siblings do not forget you and you are always in their minds even after you are gone. Friends forget, find new "friends", and may remember you every once in a while.
My mother has reiterated to me over and over again that my only friend in the world is her. Platonic friends come and go as you enter different stages of your life. Your best friend in middle school will probably not be your best friend in graduate school. But your mother and family will always be there. Sadly, interests are the only thing that attracts friends to people. Either that they need you to give them a ride somewhere or you know a cute guy they are trying to get with. It sounds completely sycophantic, but when you strip back all the "fluff" there is a motive for everything.
As to all rules, there are exceptions. Once in a blue moon one may find a "friend" that is almost like family. This rarely happens, but when it does this person leaves a profound influence on your life. This person is your right-hand, your best man at your wedding. But again, unfortunately, time separates people and it is more than likely that this friendship will erode. Whether it is due to proximity to each other or a complete change in personality.
The individuals in our lives whom we call friends can be better defined as pawns who take their turn at a temporary place in your life, give you immediate happiness that soon fades, and they make sure they leave with some benefit. Most people do not put their "friends" interest before theirs and make decisions that ruin friendships such as seducing their significant other or stealing money (Yes, it happens).
So the next time you think you hate your parents and couldn't live without your friends, consider yourself wrong. Your family will be there unconditionally while friends might show up if it fits into their schedule. After all, blood is thicker than water.
Published by Fabienne Hernandaise
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10 Comments
Post a CommentThis is my 3rd entry maybe it will post this time. Thats crap about family, they are just like friends, especially the sisters. People didn't used to be like they are now. Selfish, self-centered, materialistic, me, me, me.
Hello Fabiola, I have just discovered this site and I can see that you are a good writer and will be checking your other articles as well. I have already seen some of the titles and they sound very appealing :). Unfortunately I have to agree with everything you say about friendship and having only family to count on. Unfortunately I lost my father very young and I only have Mum and a sister that is like a stranger to me especially since she got married and I am afraid I can't do anything about it. This is a sad subject but it somehow comforted me and reassured me in my belief that it is not ALL my fault. I think I am addicted to people and try very hard in relationships and people always expect me to be the first one to write, to call and of course the only one to pay for drinks when we go out. This kind of parasitic relation is making me feel so bad and used and worthless. Thank you for the opportunity to pour my heart out on the subject here. Looking forward to reading more of your s
Friendship is basically 'mutual using' with both parties getting something in exchange - sometimes the balance is off and those are the parasitic destructive friendships that occur sometimes..
Friends come and go. Yes.
But very occasionally we find a few that stick around.
I count myself extremely blessed to have had (and still have) so many wonderful people in my life.
I've also been burned many times, but after I reached a certain age, it became clear that allowing those experiences to taint my view on something as amazing as true friendship is an injustice to all the wonderful friends I've had.
Being a good friend is a good start.
Perhaps not as tricky as we think.
Knowing when to let go, and not taking it too personally are also handy qualities.
Just wanted to say...
Keep up with your wonderful writing.
I'll def be back
I've read a few of your articles now, and have to say I've enjoyed every single one.
Most of them are extremely well written and pretty apt - This is the first time I've disagreed with you.
I hear what you're saying, but I don't feel you've left enough room for the exceptions.
I have a friend that I've known since we were 5.
We use to be neighbours. When we met, we spoke different languages, and communicated through the universal language that all kids understand.. smiles and sweets.
Her family taught me English, and things got easier from there..
I am now 27, we are still friends.
We've gone through years of having very little contact, grown apart and grown back together..
We went to different schools, moved in different circles, she went abroad after school for 2 years, she came back to study, I was finishing my studies and going abroad. (we're both South African)
I'm an only child and have always viewed my friends as my 'chosen family'
Friendship is basically 'mutual
First, It's a very well written article. Secondly, I agree. Lastly, it is very depressing to think about the possibility of my friend and myself killing our relationship with each other, but I can already see it happening. We've been friends since the 5th grade, and we're in the 12th grade now, but actually I'm the one splitting it up. As you said in your article, our personalities and interests have changed. We no longer talk to each other or spend time with each other as much as we used to. It will inevitably end, and I am sorry.
Actually, the more I think about it, the more I agree. Now I just wish that AC had an edit comment option.
I do however think that the saying "blood is thinker than water" is very relevant today, although it should be said more often. Family values are declining in today's society and newer generations are getting caught up in the fanaticism and overexploitation of products and the pursuit of gaining as much as they can whether it be materialistic or social. Great article!
Very interesting Fabi, although most friends do not wage war against eachother... there is this special thing called "working together," which is one key to a successful friendship. When two people who share common interests work together to create a win-win situation, people do not get these misanthropical ideas.
I definetly agree with you 100%. Nicely done.
A contrarian point of view, somewhat cynical but interesting and pursuasively argued. I like!