Why Goal Setting Fails

Don't get me wrong about this. Goals are very important things to have, pursue and achieve. Without goal setting whole sections of life would be dull and meaningless. Everyone should learn and practice basic goal setting skills. Achieving your goals is a vital source of joy and happiness.

But, as we all know, there are a lot more failed goals in this world than achieved goals. In the history of mankind the ratio of achieved to failed goals is much worse than any odds you would ever get in Vegas. The odds of winning the lottery are better. So if you are serious about reaching your goals you better understand why goal setting almost always fails.

Most goals fail because we rarely know exactly what we really want. Life is one big long experiment. We try things, we learn from trying things, we refine and change our direction in life. Adapting and changing is a much more powerful life force than goal setting.

Goal setting is important. It maps out a direction and destination. However, more often than not, we change our plans multiple times along the way to achieving our goals. This is not a bad thing. Life is, after all, a journey and not a destination. Setting goals and learning along the way is how we figure out who and what we are.

Society provides us with almost all our goals and values. This is valuable and important. Without learned societal values we would all still be at the caveman level. But not all of us are cut out for the mainstream values that are given to us. There is almost always a give and take between who we are as individuals and societies values and the greater good.

So always ask yourself the following question. Are your goals yours? Really truly yours? Or are they goals that someone else wants you to have? This does not mean you don't take ownership of goals you inherit. It is not worth fighting against city hall very often. But be aware of the dynamics that are involved. Try always to know who and what you are deep down and to take ownership of that.

Another big problem with goal setting is that goals are rarely realistic. The goals society gives us almost always involve something exclusive, lofty or abnormally difficult. For example, lets say your goal is to win the 100-meter dash at the Olympics. Well it does not take a rocket scientist to do the math on that. One person every 4 years can reach that goal.

A more realistic, personal goal might be to improve your 100-meter dash time next year. But society might get in the way. Maybe you are simply not fast enough to make it on the track team. So whether you reach your goal or not is usually not as important as the learning you go through along the way.

Ultimately, when you decide to pursue a goal you are simultaneously deciding to not do a whole bunch of other things. This may be the toughest challenge with serious goal setting. We only have so much time in life. You can't go back and change things once they are done. Staying focused on a long-term goal is emotionally tough because it excludes all the other possibilities.

If you played a computer game for 6 hours yesterday that may or may not be a good or bad thing. But for those 6 hours all other possibilities are now permanently lost forever. You can't turn time back and do something different.

In the end, goal setting is best used as a tool for learning. Feeling guilty if you fail to reach your goals is usually not healthy or productive. Just learn as much as you can along the way. But when you and your life goals are fully in harmony with both you and society that may be the greatest happiness you ever experience.