Why I Need to Grow as a Writer

I've always been a writer, even starting in elementary school. But books tied together with yarn about raccoons don't seem to sell. In high school, it was a satirical medieval fashion catalogue and Halloween stories, essays about my mother's singing telegrams and film reviews in college, and starting in 2007, I embarked on my freelance writing career. My first paying job was to write a movie review for Indianapolis Monthly. It was cut from the issue, but I was addicted. I next looked to newspapers, once even writing a story about a gas station. A gas station. I would do anything to get in print.

Now, I write regular pieces for Geek Monthly and the Burnside Writer's Collective. I have appeared in Animation World, Cosmo Tourist, Haunted Attractions, Your Wedding, and others. I've interviewed actor Doug Jones for the famed geek website AintitCool.com, and was endorsed by the prolific voice actor Corey Burton. When Burton read the piece I wrote about him for an animation website he said, "In every way, I feel it's the best piece about me and the work I do that I've ever seen....So thanks again. You are (literally, in this case) The Best!"

But accomplishments aren't enough, and I'm not interested in pursuing a career in journalism. I need to grow as a writer. Because as I've learned about myself, I'll be writing no matter what. I can't stop. I wake up every morning with a compulsive need to write. And to fulfill that need, I'll write anything. A blog, a column, a magazine article, and I sometimes find myself writing an endless string of fluff pieces just to satiate my need to write.

I'd like for that writing to be quality. Not just relevant to pop culture and not simply in print. I don't want to go the rest of my life never creating a completed work, getting lost in the sea of typos and grammar errors and instant literary gratification that is the internet. Not that I don't love writing for the internet, I do. Very much. But I'd like to see my writing grow into other formats, such as books.

When I'm patient with myself, I write about family and relationships, and most of my work falls under the category of, "creative non-fiction". I think that writing should be funny and poignant and serve a purpose. After all, what is writing but a voice? And why use your voice if you've got nothing to say? I'd like to write non-fiction books about growing up in the eighties, life as a female geek, religion, my time living in Romania, and the list goes on and on.

Academically, my undergraduate career was rocky. My undergraduate advisor told me never to go into detail about why, and my, doesn't that sound like something somebody would say at a trial? Suffice it to say "life circumstances" happened. While as an undergrad, these "life circumstances" stopped me in my tracks, I have now learned that when a difficult situation arises, you keep going, no matter what.

Also, sometimes it takes creative people a decent chunk of time to realize that they are artists. Sometimes we sit in classes like, "Looming 101" during our undergraduate years and ask ourselves questions like, "What is the point?" Sometimes we scuttle off to Romania for four months to work with the poor and recite clichés like, "I just really need to work on finding myself."

Even after I came to terms with the fact that I was a writer, did the mental Olympics truly begin. I asked questions like, "Why does what I have to say matter?" or, "Couldn't it just be a hobby?" or perhaps even the less dainty, "Oh dear God, how will I ever pay my bills?" Such thoughts were natural for me, and I'd be willing to bet, for every person who has ever decided to pursue any form of art as career.

But I'd like to make note of the fact that during my last year of college, I made the Dean's list for the entire year. And two out of three of my recommendation letters come from professors who taught me during that time. I think they would tell you that I now know the benefits of following through, being responsible, and working hard. Working through the academic hard times, not dodging them, is where you grow the most.

My purpose for seeking a graduate degree in creative writing is multi-faceted. As we've established, I want to grow as a writer. I also desperately need criticism. In the freelance world, editors simply do not have the time to tell you how your piece could've been better or why it isn't getting published. Trying to be a professional writer without regular criticism is like trying to cross a desert without water. It simply won't happen. I also need to be in a community, to regularly socialize with other writers. I may be a little rusty on the academic front. It's entirely possible that I have grown so accustomed to freelance writing formats, that at first I may not seem like an ideal candidate. And I'll tell you, standardized tests are not my best friend. But I know that I have talent when it comes to writing, and I know that I could do extremely well in this program.

I need more education. I'm excited at the prospect of working with the faculty in the department. Attaining an undergraduate degree is almost like going to school for "living" where you learn about everything from how to be independent, to relationships, to what you want to do with your life. But what do you do when you know who you are, when you are out of those awkward early twenties? In my case, I hope the answer to that question is, "You attend graduate school for creative writing".