Why the Hell is This AC Article Performing so Poorly?

I can't write this without paying homage to the CP who gave me this idea. These are the articles that fare poorly no matter how much you promote them. They're thorns at the CP's side; a falling star that's really a meterorite about to afflict damage to the CP's reputation.

I started a thread last week asking other CP's which articles, if any, did they regret writing. Surprisingly enough, even the most popular members with awards and high readership to boot have at least either one article or title they wished they could take back. I have five. Here are my five worst performing articles on Associated Content.

An Evening with Author Edwidge Danticat
After reading a few of her books and seeing her speak to my graduate Education class last fall, I wanted to pay homage to an author who had inspired me with her insight and spirit for life. While I personally find the article interesting, the title does not satisfy anyone else's interest. So she spent an evening listening to an author speak, so what? A reader cannot care about an article or the subject in the article unless something in the title draws them to it and makes them care. I'll admit that I wrote this article for Upfront Payment without any care about how it would perform.

What do Robin Williams and Van Halen Have in Common?
This article has nothing to do with either the acclaimed actor or classic rock group, but rather an attempt at a catchy title for my Philosophy of Teaching paper I wrote last fall. Where did I come up with this title? Robin Williams played an English teacher in the 1989 film "Dead Poet's Society" and Van Halen had a song "Hot for Teacher" when Roth was still the singer. Apparently, my title was a flop, because it didn't draw in curious readers like I hoped it would. You live and learn.

Satisfied Auditory System- Guide to my Favorite Songs
What's another way of saying something is pleasant to the ears? C4C's are usually hot deliveries, but you wouldn't know how interesting my song choices were by my title. In fact, this is a situation where I should have switched my title and subtitle. I also should have considered the fact that since I'm not one of the popular CP's, that maybe no one cared about my song preferences. What else can explain why so many other CP's were successful with this article?

CUNY schools
In fact, I have another one that I'm surprised didn't do better. Following in the "how to" format of helping readers with something, I offered personal advice about choosing a City University in New York.

And the irony of all ironies?

My worst performing article is Associated Content-The Poem, my ode, if you will, on the life of an Associated Content Producer, and the competitive drive a lot of CP's have. Perhaps I've been out-smarted by time-honored Content Producers and other readers who can smell a hollowed out poem like a bloodhound that searches for marijuana at O'Hare. Whatever bad names this article has been given, it's an experience that should not be missed!

I've pulled the thorn from my side and reviewed the damage to my ego that these worst performing articles have given me. And, you know what? I'm still here, you're still here, we're all still here!