Why I'm so ANGRY

Anger. Have you ever been so angry with someone that you want to grab them, throw them to the ground and bash their head into the concrete multiple times, but your rational brain makes you stop and just simmer? Maybe you're a screamer, who once someone or something has crossed that line you start yelling a stream of epitaphs inventing swear words as you go. Then there's the meek, mild, quiet person - who when angered plots and plans revenge and patiently waits until the time is right to get even.

I've been thinking about anger a lot. It's been on my mind because lately, I have no control over things that I always have in the past. I'm angry (frustrated and scared) because the economy has tanked and my investments have tanked, too. The 25, 32 and 40 year olds have time for things to rebound and they will eventually recoup the money they lost in their 401K's and IRA's. But what about those of us who have retired already?

I am very angry, because with all of my skills and 35 years of customer service and office work experience, including management, I have been unable to find anyone who wants to hire me and pay me a decent, living wage. Since I retired in 2000, I've had 3 jobs. Two of them were substitute positions where I was on call and sometimes went weeks without being needed. The other was a part-time position that the hours were so few and the location was so far from my house that (when the gas prices rose to $4/gallon) I quit because fuel was eating up over 1/3 of my meager weekly wages.

I am angry with the utility companies because they keep raising their rates and adding on weird charges that no one can explain. Exactly what is a "component related charge" anyway? I am mad at all of the charities because they keep calling here and hounding me for donations, even after I tell them I don't have a job. I am very, very angry at the County Treasurer, because houses in my neighborhood are vacant and real estate is losing it's value--but my property taxes remain the same. Why am I, and everyone else in the neighborhood paying 15% above what our property is worth?

I am angry because I know people who are working the system: getting food stamps, all the while hitting up food banks and churches and laughing and throwing away the things they don't like or want. I am downright pissed off because my father, who worked for 42 years and served this country in WWII, is having to cut corners and do without because the cost of prescriptions, medical care, food and housing are eating up his entire income. It just makes me want to blow something up. But what? What can I blow up? Will it make me feel better? Probably not...and I'd just get arrested and go to jail.

I am furious at the companies who hire celebrities and sports figures (who already make millions of dollars a year) for their advertising. I wear Nike shoes, eat Cheerios, drink milk and wear Cover Girl makeup. I'd be happy (and so would many other unemployed people) to promote their products for 1/10th of what they're paying the high priced celebrities...... and let's face it Drew Barrymore, Beyonce and LeBron James don't NEED any more money!

Last but not least, I'm angry because I'm aging. I see wrinkles where there were none 5 years ago. I have aches and pains for no reason, except the fact that I'm getting old. I wonder if I've done everything in my life that God has expected of me. I ask myself daily: Is that all there is? Is this it?

Just getting this all out in the open has made me feel much better. When I get angry, I'm always able to keep it at the level where I stop and simmer. I have a supportive husband, family and friends who I can depend on and talk to.

If you find yourself angry and unable to control it there are several websites that can help. They are:

www.dailystrength.org, www.mentalhelp.net , and www.mdjunction.com/anger-management.