Why it is Important for Parents to Be Involved with Their Child's Education-starting with Discipline

This article is written in response to So How Involved Do I really Have to Be? Dealing with School Discipline
The article I am responding to was written by a parent questioning the necessity of their involvement in their child's discipline during the school day. The author understandably questioned the importance of their role in their child's behavior during school. It seemed that the author felt there were enough stressors throughout the work day without having to be concerned for their child while at school. It is true that perhaps some schools expect too much from the parents, however, for the most part it seems that parents are caring less and less what goes on at school, and more about their own careers and jobs.
Realistically, it is impossible for parents to know everything that is going on with their child at school. However, if your child is fortunate enough to have a teacher who will go out of their way to contact a parent, you should gratefully accept the call and respect the teacher's time and position.

Teachers are up against a lot, especially in today's society. Many schools involve students who openly swear at their teachers and classmates and are often violent. There has also been a dramatic increase in weapons, school shooting, bullying, and other forms of violence which pose teachers and students at an even greater risk.

Responsible and caring teachers will often call the parent if they notice something particularly disruptive or threatening dealing with the child. A phone call home really should not be ignored. Remember that teachers do not enjoy calling their students' parents. They do it because they have either noticed a problem or are trying to prevent a greater problem from occurring.

Also, parents are often easily deceived by their own children. No parent wants to believe that their child could be causing trouble and disrupting the classroom, however, it happens all the time. The worse thing a parent can do is 'side' with their child without really looking into it. If a parent tends to agree with their child and listen to anything they say, the child will learn that it doesn't make a difference how they behave in school because their parent is on their side. This also sends the message to the child that teachers do not really have authority over them and that their parents will let them get away with whatever they want.

So what is the solution? Are parents supposed to volunteer in their child's classroom every day just to make sure their child is behaving themselves? Should parent/teacher conferences be held once a month instead of once a term? Those solutions would probably work pretty well, but again they are quite unrealistic.

The key to handling this situation appropriately was indeed mentioned by Mr. Chang Su in his article. The author highlighted the importance of open communication with the teacher. This should not start once the child misbehaves! Communication should begin prior to the first day of school if possible.

Many responsible teachers take the initiative by sending a letter out to all the parents. The letter will most likely list that particular teacher's discipline plans and policies. It will also probably list opportunities for the parents to get involved in their child's education, as well as what their child will be studying. This is a great way for teachers to get their expectations out there and for parents to see what their children are really learning in school.

If parents do not receive any such letter or hear from the teacher within the first few weeks, it is a very good idea to stop in and meet the teacher face to face. Ask if there have been any problems and how your child has been behaving and performing. Also, let the teacher know that you are busy, but you want to be involved in your child's education and any emails or updates on what is going on in school would be appreciated. Let the teacher know you are on their side. Ultimately, the both of you want what is best for the child and you may as well present a team effort.

What about the children themselves? Who is to tell them what the expectations are? As previously mentioned, it is a bad idea to automatically side with your child if there has been an incident at school. It sends them the message that mom and dad will always love and support their choices, even if they are poor ones. Obviously, you want to support your son or daughter, and no parent wants their child to be falsely accused of doing wrong. However, there are loving ways to confront your son or daughter and give them a chance to tell you the full story. Let them know that you love them either way, but that you need them to tell you the truth.

It is also important to let your child know in advance what you expect of them while they are at school. It is a good idea to let your child know you expect them to respect their teacher and classmates at all times, and that if they don't, there will be consequences! List the consequences and encourage your child by letting them know you believe in them. Also encourage them to set a good example for the other students and to be a positive role model. Consistent encouragement and support have shown to prevent a lot of discipline problems and improve the parent/child and teacher/student relationship.