Why Jon Gosselin's Affair Should Not Have Surprised Us

When Jon Gosselin, of TLC's Jon and Kate plus eight, was caught out late one night with a female "friend," the world was shocked and appalled. Millions watched the family of ten struggle with all kinds of chaos and confusion, but few questioned the couple's dedication to each other (even though they often fought and spoke down to each other on national TV). However, Multiple Blessings, a book by Jon and Kate about their early lives, showed clear signs early on that indicated Jon's very own personal struggles. Perhaps his infidelity should not have been such a surprise after all.

After Jon and Kate's first set of twins, Kate decided she wanted to get pregnant again. According to Multiple Blessings, Jon "would not and could not even bring himself to discuss the possibility. It was an irrefutable, inarguable, and indisputable no!" While Kate wanted one more child to give her daughters the chance to be big sisters, "above all else, Jon worried about the possibility of having twins again." Imagine not wanting any more children and ending up with six!

When she found out she was pregnant, Kate worried about the new responsibilities of having six children, but she also worried about Jon. "Poor Jon had more than any man should have to endure at one time. And this was just the beginning." Kate later describes their marriage as "a thin crust of ice on a frozen pond. Even minor disagreements seemed to put major cracks in the ice" and she was afraid either she or Jon "was just going to fall through one day and drown."

It wasn't long before this came true and Jon had his first major meltdown. According to Kate, he was "frustrated and exhausted" and one night "broke down in tears as he put on his coat to go run some errands." Kate immediately started praying "that he would come home to us and not just keep driving away as far as he could go." Even then she knew that he was so unhappy that he might blindly consider abandoning his family just to escape the frustration of the moment.

Now mix a TV show into the already stressful family situation. When approached about doing a documentary about their family, Jon's immediate response was "No way!" but he lost the battle to his wife, who was always in control and seemingly always got her way. In their book Multiple Blessings, Kate Gosselin describes herself as "Type A, take charge, put a label on it, and get the job done- that's me." This is evident in the show where she is the boss, the queen of the house. It seems in her mind that Jon and can do nothing right, is never allowed to have his own ideas and is constantly shot down, shuttled around, told what to do and how he is even doing that wrong. No man can survive in a situation that long without some kind of resentment.

When watching a family on TV, it is sometimes easy to be shocked when something happens out of character. However, after seeing some of the signs of the Gosselin's struggles early on, it shouldn't be that big of a surprise that their happy family was hit hard by problems that normal couples face every day.

Multiple Blessings, Surviving to Thriving with Twins and Sextuplets, Jon and Kate Gosselin and Beth Carson. pgs 12, 20, 27, 70, 123, 130, and 168.