Why I Love My Craftsman Screwdrivers

It is with both great satisfaction and slight pain that I sit down and write you this letter. I'm pleased to inform you that the durability and efficiency of your screwdrivers, with their comfort ball design, has resulted in possibly the most amazing experience I've ever had with any of my boyfriend's tools. The experience was not, however, without a small obstacle along the way, a point that will be better understood after having read this letter.

While checking my email last Thursday, I came across the most unusual letter from an internet company promising to increase the size of my penis. Since I currently lack a penis, I thought to myself, "That will be a feat, indeed," and I innocently clicked on the link, curious as to how one can enlarge something that isn't there.

Truth be told, I was also looking for some pictures because the only penis I've ever seen belongs to my boyfriend and he only lets me see it late at night under the covers when the lights are off. I'm not quite sure, but I suspect it curves a bit to one side and although my girlfriends have told me that slight curvature is normal, I think his more resembles a banana or possibly the letter J.

You're probably wondering what the shape of my boyfriend's penis has to do with Craftsman tools, and possibly whether I used a Craftsman products to straighten out his misaligned anatomy. Sadly, the answer to that question is no, but I would be interested in knowing if any of your Craftsman tools could assist me further in this matter.

Well, I found what I was looking for on the website about penile enlargement. In fact, I bit off more than I could chew, so to speak. There must've been a dozen pictures, each one showcasing a different style of penis - some long, some short; some fat, some skinny; some black, some white. It wasn't long at all before these pictures started having a physiological effect on me, a fact made more obvious by a warm and wet sensation budding between my legs. I didn't expect to be aroused so suddenly but a young woman is really nothing more than just a slave to her body, after all.

So I sought to manually release these inner tinglings with whatever instruments I happened to have handy. I scrounged around the house for anything long and tubular but aside from some tapered candles which I feared were too brittle for my muscular upper thighs, I found nothing. I was about to resort to a woman's best friend, the showerhead, when I spotted my boyfriend's toolbox in the corner. It just so happened that my boyfriend was doing some remodeling and his box was full of Craftsman tools, all guaranteed to give complete satisfaction, just as your website claims. I grabbed the longest screwdriver I found and well, I needn't bore you with the details.

And complete satisfaction it gave, again and again. I found that the comfort ball design to your Craftsman 3/8 x 12 in. Screwdriver (Sears item #00941588000) in particular, resulted in the best orgasm I've ever had without another person. And the second one wasn't bad either.

The precision-machined chrome vanadium steel blade allowed for just enough grip to slide the instrument in and out, at first in a slow and steady rhythm that quickened to a crescendo of short, fast movements. The tool's grooves also enhanced my pleasure and collected all the excess lubrication my body was producing. I had what I approximate was at least 30 minutes of pleasure at the hands of a true craftsman, the Craftsman 3/8 x 12 in. Screwdriver, which is, I was also pleased to learn, guaranteed for life.

On the trip down from my third complete Craftsman satisfactory experience, I relaxed back in my chair and let out a long sigh of relief. But as I leaned back, the seat of the chair popped off the base, and I landed on the chair leg in the most violating way, making me cry out even louder than I had at the hands of your fabulous Craftsman screwdriver. A bit embarrassed, I picked myself up (slowly) and examined the chair. After a close inspection, I found that the chair had only broken because a screw had popped loose, probably sometime during my bouncing around on it.

Well wouldn't you know it, I had to use the screwdriver once again, this time gripping the other end which was understandably slippery until I toweled it off with one of my boyfriend's tee shirts. I was even more impressed with your product when I found that not only could it send me to the moon and back numerous times, but it could also be used to repair the chair I had so carelessly broke.

Thank you, Craftsman, again and again. Your products are an inspiration to the entire tool making trade, and also to all the hormone overloaded women of the world. Since my extraordinary experience with your product, I've expressed an interest in purchasing tools of my own and my boyfriend has promised to buy me the Craftsman 5 pc. Grip-N-Drive Reversible Screwdriver set for my birthday next month. With this wonderful set, Craftsman can guarantee my satisfaction nearly ever day of the week.

Very Sincerely,
Jenny Corvette