Why Lovers Argue

You see couples arguing in their homes, in the store, at the club, on the street and just about everywhere else. People don't only argue because they want to the also argue because they have to. In good relationships arguing is an important component of teaching each other the expectations.

The primary reason why people argue is because they have to teach each other appropriate expectations of the relationship. When one of the partners doesn't fulfill these expectations an argument is likely to ensue. Through arguing people will be able to explain their opinions on different expectations and discuss the consequences of not fulfilling these expectations.

Let me give you an example. You refuse to pay for dinner for the last month and your partners says, "Why are you making me pay for our food. You're the man!" With cynicism you respond, "I feel that you keep asking for money from me and you have your own job". The two can then learn about what the other person expects.

The second reason why people argue is because they are unsure about their relationship. Sometimes this is a result of one of the parties feeling insecure and in other cases it is because one of the parties violated the rule. Arguing is telling a person you are feeling angry, upset or neglected.

Let us say that you are very busy with your work and you are so tired by the end of the day that you barely have enough time to just go home and fall asleep. She may get angry and say, "Are you cheating on me?" Now you have the opportunity to plead your case and come to closure.

The third reason why people argue is because they are tired of each others companionship and want to break the relationship off but don't know how to do it. They argue because they annoyed by your presence and want to give you a subtle hint that things are not working out. Arguing gives them a chance to justify separating.

For example, everything you do is wrong. She yells at you when you do the right thing and she yells at you when you do the wrong thing. Her arguing is much more excessive then the actual offence and you are getting frustrated. She is probably trying to end the relationship without actually saying it. She is letting you make the decision.